This is an extremely actor-driven haunt. Good thing, then, that the cast showed up wired from the get-go to engage and interact.
The acting troupe brimmed with dynamic energy this evening. They cavorted, capered, and crowded around us. They subjected us to bouts of screaming, chainsaw chasing, torrents of crazed laughter, twisty crab-walking, cackling fits, threats and aggressive movements, and lots of entertainingly wacky dialogue. And that was all before we got to the turbo-charged clowns!
Besides that gung-ho gang of clowns, we met inmates, cryptids, vampires, woodland spirits, heinous nuns, crazy campers, scientists and their subjects, pig-heads, and backwoods brutes intent on making us part of their next meal. Quite the diverse roster of looney-toonies.
One of our first assailants declared they would create a soup out of us and serve it up with “mashed organs on the side.” An especially electric and manic goofball yukked it up and bounced off the walls like Daffy Duck on uppers. We want to call out the jumpsuited maniac who tried to break a record for repeat appearances – B. Wright, as the name tag read, blasted an air horn, pursued us while crawling on the ground, and just generally harassed us throughout the whole trail.
Mama Mae welcomed us into her shack of horrors, where a massive family member stuffed a live victim into the fridge. We did not stay for dinner. A cryptid, apparently one of the poor test subjects, said: “Get out of here before they find you, you could end up like me …though I could use a friend.” Aawww! Even monsters can get bit by the loneliness bug. The clowns seriously whooped it up, laughing, misdirecting, and quickly approaching and retreating as we walked in circles under the big top.
We walked in on the evil doctor doing some impromptu surgery on their sister’s ex-boyfriend Jerry – the doctor seemingly did not display too much pickiness for experiment subjects, as it looked like the sister was caged up and waiting for her turn at advancing science. She wailed about Jerry, at which the doctor threw her Jerry’s foot as a ‘chew toy’ and told her to get back in the cage. The doctor wanted us to stick around, saying that they could find some jugs of acid to play with, or take our eyes to throw in some containers, or even make a cake out of Jerry’s brains. Plenty of good options there, but it was time to move along.
The church scene paired up a vampire priest and a parishioner that was clearly out of their mind. The bloodsucker called us demons and sinners, demanded we be gone from this unholy house, and ended up shrieking at us: “I banish you from my church!” While the weirdo partner kept up a litany of bizarre comments like “Beware the curse of the intergalactic fallopian tubes!” and “Why did you put so many jellyfish inside the turbine combustor?” Fantastic stuff!
See Less












