The spooky schoolhouse is a big building and the walkthrough is long, so we usually start out their review by saying that some areas seem a little light on creatures ‘n’ creeps; probably unavoidably so, given that anything less than an army of actors could properly fill the joint. But as we’ll examine in Special Effects, the sheer volume and vigor of the sets, props, and effects manage to fill up any unpopulated spaces. Even so, the total numbers were still reasonably strong, and the actors on hand made an impact.
Things got underway with a bang, as a corpse bride came at us from a couple of different angles in the opening cemetery set. The bewitched bride gave us fair forewarning of dangers to come (“Beware my sisters!”) and unleashed a maniacal cackle. A nasty nurse told us the doctor would see us now, and wasn’t kidding! The scientist barred our advance through the lab while croaking at us in an unsettling rattle. The arachnid queen tried to feed us to a squadron of spiders.
The janitor told us, “You’re my replacement and man, I need help; a little boy flushed Barbie heads down the toilet, and now there’s brown water and poopies everywhere!” No thanks, and you can keep that mop, pal. An insidious infant declared that “Mommy tried to make me share my toys and I don’t like that, so that’s why I had to give her an electrifying bath” – followed by gales of self-amused guffaws.
Vicious vampires wanted to suck our blood, cantankerous clowns tormented us, and chortling actors with chainsaws revved up their power gear. We also met up with ear-bursting loud screamers, sneaky whisperers, creepy crawlers, and aggressive in-your-facers.
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