The American Horrorplex Review (2024)

The crew working for B.H.I.P.S. may not have been able to see the creatures and spirits haunting the former hospital, but we sure as hell could! Following a mishap in the containment room they’d attempted to shield us in, minions of Legion- the entity responsible for all the foul creations that spawned from the Bracken-Hart Institute- ordered us into a holding pen and tormented us for some time before we were released to explore the courtyard and make our way into the facility. From the moment we passed through what appeared to be a security room and boarded an elevator, to our unceremonious crash landing into Dr. Hart’s lab, our adventure took a turn for the chaotic – and only got worse the further we progressed on our tour. The deranged hospital staff and their experiments had completely overrun the building and seemed to be waiting for us around every turn… and it usually wasn’t just one of them either!

Early into our tour, a disturbing creature with an oversized leg and their face concealed by a dirty canvas mask invited us to join their “special wall” – then got into an argument with a second character over whose wall was better. (Spoiler alert: they were both covered in human flesh and we had no desire to join either of them.) In the nursery, Nurse Bubbles greeted us with her signature “Pop pop pop! Follow me, we will POP a lumpkin right out of the womb!” She then proceeded to do just that, pulling a grotesque lumpkin with flailing tentacles out of the body of a pregnant person and proudly showing us the “baby”. We were harassed constantly by a crazed patient wielding a bedpan, ranting about “‘p*ss”, and demanding we tell them how much we “love it”. Stopping by the (disgusting) cafeteria, we witnessed the cook slamming things about while declaring “Sloppy Joes! Extra sloppy, just for you!…And a drop of curdled milk to go! Milk it, milk it, milk it!” While making our way through the showers, we encountered “Grandmapa”, who implored us for help: “I need you to clean me because I’m old!” As an orderly came along to haul them away, we noticed the poo stains on the back of their undies. Too funny!

Most of the cast did well with both their dialogue and actions, but when speaking they should take care to avoid screaming over each other too much and also ensure their lines make sense. We encountered some who went more for the silly/random approach and their words didn’t make much sense when compared to the haunt’s story.

Between being experimented on, infested with gross parasites, and burnt alive when the Institute went up in flames, you could say its residents were looking just a little worse for the wear. We saw a variety of looks and costumes, ranging from the expected patients and hospital staff to some truly monstrous creations. Those doctors must’ve been busy! A good mix of makeup and masks were utilized. Characters in makeup varied from somewhat basic looks to those more elaborate and detailed. We didn’t see much by way of “clean” faces or skin. One character had TEETH embedded all over her face!

Costumes also varied. Lab coats had some amount of burns or dirt on them, the burns a nod to AHP’s storyline. Nurse uniforms were stained and nasty. A character roaming outside, who resembled a detective, wore the signature hat and overcoat. Several actors incorporated props and weapons into their act as well; the aforementioned teeth lady was digging around in a bed pan full of poop and offering us some (eww!), and other actors came at us with shock sticks, a chainsaw, and other crazy stuff. In keeping with the storyline, we saw a few characters with the fleshlumpkin parasites ripping out of their clothes. At least one of the experiments, Quinn, had a pair of metal-tipped gloves she could use to create sparks and wore knee pads for sliding scares. My personal favorite costume was that of the experiment with one oversized “leg” hanging out by a wall of human flesh and body parts and wearing a dirty, dingy cloth mask and an outfit of similar material. Very creepy!

Finding the Horrorplex was very easy. Before I even reached the attraction, there was a brightly lit sign further up the road that read “HAUNTED HOUSE” to let me know I was headed the right way and the building itself was lit up in blinking multicolored lights. Multiple signs out front, visible as I drove by, bore the haunt’s name and “HAUNTED HOUSE” again. (Gosh… it’s almost like there was a haunt in there!) They had a small lot with free parking that was full when I arrived, but their helpful parking crew told me there was space available on the street. Multiple ticket booths sped up the process of helping groups buy tickets and security checks were performed on all customers while we waited. Both the property itself and the parking areas were reasonably lit and didn’t feel unsafe. AHP’s website also had virtually anything a customer could want or need to know before their “appointment” with the doctors, including the storyline.

General Admission tickets to American Horrorplex started at $25. Speedier VIP admission, which came with perks like Boo Bucks, was $45. To completely bypass all lines and go straight to the door, customers could purchase a Skip the Line Pass ($65) which also included Boo Bucks. Not interested in being scared, but still want to have some fun? Access to only the Fun Hump- the Horrorplex’s midway- could be purchased for $5.00. All ticket lines were clearly marked and easy to navigate, as was the path into the Fun Hump.

Looking up at the gate, we saw flags bearing the Institute’s insignia flapping in the wind and a hearse was parked outside. Podiums scattered about the queue enabled guests to learn more about the story behind the haunt. A projection above the line played video clips related to the attraction’s story and gave groups something to watch while they waited. Upbeat tunes played all night long to keep the crowd energized for the show. While we waited, we saw the investigators of B.H.I.P.S., along with a few free-range entities- experiments and staff- from the facility roaming the crowd, eliciting both laughs and screams. A character dressed up like a detective held a giant drill up to our heads and commented, “You’ve got a good head on your shoulders. Might I look inside?” Clad in a grubby straightjacket, a young patient moved swiftly amidst the crowd. We also spotted a doctor in a burnt, dirty lab coat and a man in coveralls with a swirl either carved or burnt into his bare belly.

Once inside the house, most of the rooms would’ve made sense to a new “patient” checking in. We explored a security room with screens displaying the hospital, boarded an elevator to enter the facility, and witnessed multiple laboratories and experimentation scenes, including one involving animal testing. As the experiments continued to escape and run amok and their fleshlumpkin parasites took over, our walkthrough became increasingly crazier. We walked through a rather gross shower scene, a messy laundry room piled high with soiled uniforms and hospital wear, descended into the bowels of the facility (including an electrical room), and even faced off with the Mother Lumpkin herself – so massive she consumed an entire room!

I can’t speak for my group member, but I personally would have liked to see more done involving B.H.I.P.S. as I wasn’t really sure what was up with these paranormal investigators and why we could see the spirits of the hospital, but they could not. Their part in the story could be made more obvious; the haunt’s website has been updated to reflect this new chapter but not everyone will read it. I’m not sure if either of us understood why we were kept in a holding pen and then released into the courtyard outside- where we were hunted by a security guard- either.

When it was our turn to enter, a video sequence in a containment room kicked off our adventure through this chapter of the Bracken-Hart story. (Warning: do NOT leave your assigned circle… you will regret it.) A suitable soundtrack and audio effects played throughout the house, including announcements from hospital staff and shrieks/screams from animatronic victims and experiments. The elevator we boarded to reach the lab floor shook and rattled while the lights and buttons flickered realistically. We witnessed multiple test tube experiments, with some of those involving blasts of fog and air. There’s a possibility you may get wet from actors’ props or actions; a member of our group got “baptized” with the contents of a bed pan. Gross! The haunt’s walls had many interesting textures: along with the expected layers of wear, grime, stains, and rust, we also came across some particularly disturbing ones that were basically a mass of bodies and body parts globbed together. No bare walls in here!

One of my favorite touches in the house was the detail in the Mother Lumpkin scene. Between the fleshy appearance of the walls and the glowing orbs embedded in them, it had an almost alien vibe. They also added a new animatronic scare in that room that was super cool, but I’m not going to spoil it – you’ll just have to see it for yourself. Something that did take us out of the show a little was the amount of wear on a few of the pneumatics, which could use some TLC or replacement with something new.

The Bracken-Hart Institute may have burnt long ago, but its corrupted staff and twisted experiments remained – and their master, Legion, was looking to add some new members to their freakish family! (Or just feed us to their minions. I think they would’ve been satisfied either way.) We were hounded around nearly every turn by all manner of insane patients and sadistic hospital staff. And these actors pulled out all the stops: they came at us from virtually every direction, were loud, hit things to startle us, struck in groups and surrounded us at least twice, grossed us out, invaded our space… if you name it, someone probably did it at some point. Most scares were actor-based, but the haunt had some other tricks to get under our skin as well! Animatronics, blasts of air and fog, vibrating benches in an observation room, and a foggy, blinding whiteout room provided additional frights.

With the full knowledge that not everything has to be a scare and it’s just as important to make groups laugh and entertain them as much as scaring the snot out of them, we do feel the haunt could continue working towards making their show scarier. A few more automated scares would help- they definitely added new ones this year- and in scenes involving multiple actors, whoever isn’t scaring should seek opportunities to provide a distraction for those who are.

Our investigation at the Institute took approximately 22 minutes to complete, bringing American Horrorplex’s MPD (Minutes Per Dollar) score to 0.88. So close to the full minute per dollar we seek from a haunt! And even though it fell a little shy of that goal, those 22 minutes were filled with laughs, screams, shouts, and jumps. The haunt kept us entertained from the moment we got in line to escaping from that hellish hospital (which was NOT an easy ordeal… at all). And the fun continued beyond the fear: there was music, roaming actors, video clips, a FREE drag show, live animal encounters, vendors to shop with, and photo ops. It was definitely a place where a group could enjoy some scares and laughs and hang out for a while afterward.

We were lucky enough to discover some of the doctors’ secrets and still make it out alive – but will you be so fortunate? Are you willing to join up with B.H.I.P.S. and assist in their investigation? Swing by American Horrorplex and see what you can find out for yourself… but don’t let Legion catch you!