Readers beware: much like the haunt, this review is not recommended for anyone; in fact, you’ll need therapy after reading this! This year, The Haunted Hoochie at Dead Acres is RAWKING out with their cawks out – yes, the feathered kind.
The Hoochie is downright unhinged, unfiltered, and utterly shocking. No one delivers brutal horror quite like them, and this year they’ve raised the stakes again by turning baby lullabies into lull-a-dies. From the moment we stepped inside, we were assaulted with over-the-top scenes, relentless scares, and a level of shock value that only this Ohio legend can bring.
New for the 2025 season, the Hoochie’s abusement park just got bigger with the addition of a real vintage funhouse you can actually walk through – and the best part? Everything inside works, right down to the tricks and tilts, and with scare actors lying in wait!
Now, let’s get into this review. Strap in, because the Hoochie doesn’t just cross the line – they light it on fire!
We have been to the Hoochie many times and know what to expect, namely rampant physicality and complete disregard for personal space or any sort of discretion, but this was perhaps the most raucous we’ve ever seen the cast. The actors, and there were bunches of them, appeared seriously demented.
It seemed that every single cast member had sworn a solemn oath and took it as their personal mission to make us regret entering their domain. Did they want to stomp on our stupid, meaningless little comfort level and stuff it down our worthless throats? Sure seemed that way!
Bad behavior abounded: they shoved and pulled us around, rubbed our heads and pulled our hair umpteen times, put us in the way of an oncoming vehicle, dragged chainsaws all over us including some uncomfortably close shaves operating right up around the ol’ twig & berries, berated us, sneered and snarled, hurled belligerent insults and crude innuendos and savage swears, and just generally made us feel unsafe and insecure. They swarmed and swamped us with multiple actors coming from different directions in many, if not most, of the scenes. This cast created utter chaos!
They also pulled a trick not often seen: making us participants in not just observing ghastly acts, but whipping onlookers into a frenzy (at one point employing the Banana Boat Song ‘Day-o!’ call and response) and having us cheering on atrocities like a decapitation, chainsaw mauling, and shotgun blast.
We took a ride with some psychotic stewardesses; gagged at barnyard degenerates performing inappropriate, nay felonious acts with chickens and sheep; recoiled from freaks in bondage gear and shirtless clowns; laughed as a ghillie-suited goof made cartoonish chewing and gulping noises; got called to confession by unholy priestesses and evil acolytes in an alarmingly inhumane church; and unsuccessfully dodged a ridiculous number of gyrating, rabid chainsawers. Watch out for Sister Scari in the church, she’s got claws!
Safety is an illusion if you’re anywhere on the premises. Actors also accosted us in the 3D clown house and toyed with us in the new funhouse. Could we just sit there at a table and enjoy our cheesesteaks and fries? Hell no! Rumbustious clowns came by to put us in headlocks and affixed a sticker to the bald team member’s dome.
Hats off to a truly deranged posse of ornery cusses. If this actorly assault on good taste, good sense, and goodwill sounds like your idea of a good time, get on down to the Hoochie and experience it yourself, because no description can stand in for the real thing. Be prepared for mayhem if it’s your first time – they won’t be gentle!
Once we got out of our cars, we immediately realized we had stepped into utter chaos. Howls, snarls, screams, and the roar of chainsaws could be heard in the distance. The deteriorating, lit-up Ferris wheel stood above the carnival-like illusion in front of us. Inside was nothing normal, including their attire. Unhinged psycho hillbilles attacking us one after another. Every scene intensified, and the sick horror crept into our minds.
Most of the makeup consisted of blood and dark smears of who knows what. They looked like they had been there, waiting for us, for quite some time. Black crosses and red pentagrams were painted on some of the characters who aggressively attacked us. At every turn, another hillbilly was waiting for us. Some wore dirty and tattered overalls, while others were wearing hardly anything at all. Ripped shirts, tattered clothing, gothic attire, and bare flesh were seen everywhere throughout the haunt.
In the midst of the madness, we also encountered a rabid monkey, some soldiers, one of whom pointed a realistic pistol right at our group, a convincing pregnant belly, a mermaid, and some sort of creature in the junkyard who had long tendrils coming from its mouth that appeared to be wet and gooey. It was dark in this section, so we’re not quite sure what we were looking at, and we didn’t stick around long to find out!
In Bad Trip, we encountered some bizarre, menacing clowns. Most were covered in grime, neon makeup, and disturbing clown masks. One in particular, Skittz! He had waffle cones shoved in his head! We hope he at least had some ice cream! But he appeared to be in a bad mood as he marked us and proceeded to try to mutilate us with his chainsaw.
Overall, the costuming was dirty, grungy, skimpy at times, and pulled us into the chaos. While we would love to see more complete costumes on many of the hillbillies and a greater variety, for the most part, the costumes seemed to blend in well with the surroundings.
Even though the Hoochie is such a hidden gem waiting to be found by avid haunt-goers, it wasn’t difficult at all for our group to locate it. Aside from our GPS directing us, signs at the entrance and down the path to their parking lot confirmed we’d made it to the right place. We were distinctly guided to a parking spot, which removed the hassle of navigating the lot on our own. With a place as lit up and overtly menacing as the Hoochie, it did take us a moment to figure out where the entrance to the haunt was after leaving our vehicles. But once we stepped inside, there was no confusion about where we needed to go next. The ticket booth, haunt queue, concessions, etc., all had easy-to-spot signage and were in designated areas.
For a place this intense, you might expect the actors’ behaviors to be a cause of concern for safety, but that was not the case at all. The uneven flooring and terrain in their Bad Trip 3D attraction made us truly cautious, especially since the 3D glasses were disorienting our vision. Quite a few members of our group tripped and stumbled in there. Going back to the actors, however, we were impressed with their ability not to pose a serious threat, even being as grabby as they were with us.
Staff in every area of the haunt were extremely friendly and welcoming to our group, and answered any questions that we had. They also made a point to get us, along with other customers in the queue, excited for the experience. It’s obvious they want visitors to have a great time!
Considering planning a trip to the Hoochie? Their website offers information ranging from directions to the attraction, ticket prices (plus a way to purchase them online), dates and times of operation, behind-the-scenes pictures and videos from previous seasons, and more to help get you started! We did notice a lack of information on parking prices and what the attractions feature overall, though.
If you’re in search of an immersive haunt experience, look no further than the Hoochie, where they coerce you to fit right in with their unit of chaos! Upon entering, the number of things to check out is almost overwhelming (in a good way). Their midway area mimics that of a carnival, complete with a glowing Ferris wheel to observe, plenty of photo ops, and even a funhouse to walk through if you choose to do so, which our group certainly did! There was even loud party music that played whilst we waited in the queue, making us want to stay and dance the night away. While all that likely seems fun to most, the distant screams and revving chainsaws added an eeriness and dread like no other, and reminded us yet again just where we were… and what we were in for.
Energy was high as we entered the first attraction, and not just from us; a few steps in, and members of our group were already getting snatched up, yanked around, and thrown in different directions. Tension never lightened, and our curiosity certainly didn’t either. With every twist and turn, we were in a new section with its own theme, sometimes completely opposite to the last. We weren’t given any time to process what we’d just witnessed, nor barely even allowed to take a breath before the next scene engulfed us in absolute madness. There were no opportunities for boredom or silence here! Actors didn’t hesitate to force us to comply with whatever they wanted, and frankly, we found it easiest to oblige. It was hard not to feel immersed when we were actively interacted with by actors and animatronics alike throughout the entire attraction. Although we were terrified and kept a quick pace, we never really caught up with any groups before us, nor did any others catch up to us. This made our experience more enjoyable, but that sense of isolation also made it much scarier.
The party didn’t end once we were finished with the main haunt, as we were guided into their secondary attraction, Bad Trip in 3D. After that, we found ourselves back out in the midway, closest to a gift shop and concessions. A perfect way to end the night, but if you’re anything like us, you just might consider heading back to the beginning for a second round of fun!
Stumbling in a daze from one horror to the next was like being trapped in a psychedelic nightmare. We knew there would be no escape until we woke up or crawled breathless out the exit!
The design appeared to allow for no rhyme or reason. One minute, we were hiking through a jungle of screeching primates, the next descending into a sadistic torture dungeon. A musty templar crypt might get followed up by a bullet-torn battlefield or a killing barn festooned with murderous farm tools and a beat-up jalopy perched precariously overhead.
The whirlwind of disorienting settings and breakneck-paced transitions set us up for maximum confusion and anxiety. Lighting could be dim, lurid, strobing, foggy, or nonexistent, which made it consistently chaotic and fitting in with everything else here.
The two rooms filled to bursting with gigantic animatronics were wondrous. The dragons, dinosaurs, and other titanic creatures writhed about and bellowed. We watched a pair of wild boars pulling a poor sap apart. Weathered jeeps and a downed chopper gave the war section a realistic gravitas.
The sinister church impressed itself on us with a giant organ and a flaming pentagram set high up on a stage. The Hoochie-ites deployed similar upraised stages for their violent skits of shotgunning, clown decapitation, and the chainsawing off of a dummy’s face, all gloriously gory and vehemently violent.
The Hoochie’s soundtrack and array of sound effects mirrored the jumbled-up displacement found in the rest of the place. We listened to a litany of pounding metal music, droning, strange recorded vocalizations, monkey shrieks in the ape section, explosions and gunfire plus Black Sabbath’s War Pigs playing in the battle zone, dinosaur cries, the desperate cluckings of distressed chickens, the Jaws theme music to go along with a shark appearance, submarine sonar pings, a bus horn and the throaty roar of a motorbike, the all too frequent whine of chainsaws revving, and various announcements as we tried to avoid taking a seat on Flight 666 of Hoochie Airlines with direct service to Hell. This veritable cacophony provided suitable sonic distress and accompaniment to all the other insanity going on around us.
21. How scary was it? (35% of score): 9.14
22. How well did they provide scares to everyone in the group? (15% of score): 9.76
23. How predictable were the scares? (25% of score): 9.03
24. How well did they provide a wide variety (types) of scares? (10% of score): 8.74
25. How strong was the ending / finale? (15% of score): 9.08
This is one of the scariest haunts we’ve visited this season! This was sensory overload! Standing outside The Haunted Hoochie is enough to make your heart race, as the overwhelming sense of impending doom takes over your once carefree mind. For some in our group, it was their first time experiencing this madness. Distant screams, roaring chainsaws, enraged primates, and crying babies filled the air, all accompanied by blaring rock music. Translation: loud rock music = death.
Once you step into their chaotic world, you’re theirs. Energy, intensity, and obscenities are served in abundance. The grotesque scenes you witness as part of the audience redefine fear, often leaving you feeling squeamish. Hell yeah! And other scenes leave you saying, WTH… So much is going on around you most of the time, it’s like sensory overload! So, them creeping up on you unexpectedly is child’s play to them!
The deafening rock music and disorienting lights threw us off balance, while actors double-tapped us and came at us from every direction. Chaos reigned throughout the experience, with something always coming at us from a different angle. Yes, it is an experience! The actors were relentless in their mission to leave us scarred for life. And of course, once you think you have made it to safety, they added a host of psycho clowns to traumatize us even more as we ran out the exit! And whose idea was it to give them chainsaws?!
Is it worth the price of admission? Absolutely! Tickets ran $35 for General Admission and $60 for VIP during our visit, and while the Hoochie itself clocked in at about 16 minutes (0.46 MPD), the value doesn’t stop there. Every ticket also includes a trip through Bad Trip in 3D and the brand-new vintage funhouse – both solid bonuses that pad out the night.
The queue line alone is an event. Between the music, the projector, the cage dancer, roaming actors, and stage entertainment, the wait felt more like a raucous party than standing in line. It’s no wonder the crowds stack up in October, so we recommend hitting them early in the season or on a Thursday night for shorter waits and more elbow room.
Get your merch on by stopping by one of their two gift shops for a hoodie, t-shirt, pants, and more! They also have a food stand every year, and their pumpkin rolls, cheesesteaks, and nachos are highly recommended! All booths take cards.
At the end of the day, you’re not just buying a haunt ticket – you’re buying into one of the most outrageous, unapologetic nights of horror haunt entertainment in Ohio! If you haven’t been out to the Haunted Hoochie this season, what are you waiting for? They’re working really hard to make you sick!
13861 E. Broad Street, Pataskala, Ohio 43062
