Distracted Haunted House’s theme for 2025 is The Dark Feast. The title refers to an ancient ritual of consumption to invoke an evil force. It begins with a gathering of terrifying entities.
Dabblers in the arcane arts and other visitors drawn by supernatural interest to observe this occult assemblage might need to make certain sacrifices …of themselves …to perpetuate the rite. In other words, take care you don’t end up in a stock pot or on a plate!
Now nine seasons in, Distracted continues to impress with outstanding in-house-made costuming and bespoke props, sets, and effects. Their delightful walkthrough avoids some same-old, seen-that elements and tries out innovative approaches, making it different enough from the norm that it seems refreshing …even as you are screaming your way through it.
Distracted’s talented cast made their presence felt. They crowded us, boxed us in, literally caged us, delivered head-shaking dialogue, made threatening lurches, or moved in unnatural or startling ways.
The barbarous barber wanted to give us a close trim with a straight razor. A bog spirit popped up every few rooms to comment on what was going on or where we were headed next, then whisked away with a demented chortle. We played rock-paper-scissors with Gidget in the arcade; when we brought out the unbeatable one-finger stick of dynamite, Gidget begrudgingly handed over our little toy prize – but don’t be dirty rotten cheaters like us!
Robed cult creeps in horned animal skulls made screechy noises. When we approached the Blood Beast, we were told to “fill his sanguine hunger!” The hairy creature chased us around and blocked our exit, but thankfully we did not have to donate any O-negative to satisfy the Beast’s appetite.
You never quite know what you might get, because charity groups will supplement the main group and do some acting for fundraising on different nights of the season. From what we have seen, they usually do quite well. And as for the regular troupe, we know they always bring it!
The costuming at Distracted is top-notch. Like most, if not all of the props and sets, it is created in-house and chef-kissed with ingenuity and creativity.
Costuming is often where we find haunts struggle, and even when executed well, frequently suffers from lack of vision. Well, Distracted provides a cure for the common costume. Inventive designs come with inspired details and cool accessories.
Knockout looks belonged to the Hatter, a tatterdemalion figure somewhere between a scarecrow and a hobo, in patchwork clothing and a funky tall burlap hat pulled half over its face with eyeholes cut out just above the brim; a swamp sprite with elfin ears, grungy teeth, and a utility belt stocked with potions and vials; stilts-walking Stella, who perched an extraordinarily flamboyant and gravity-defying hat atop a mop of white curls, and further accentuated a tremendous look with pearls, a gauzy dress, striking contacts, razor teeth, and tapering talons holding a tiny cage containing a bird skeleton; a disfigured, parasol-twirling host/doorperson with mismatched eye sockets, a rather southern belle-looking personage, and the Blood Beast, a shaggy and savage medley of horns, hair, and claws.
We also saw a Little Bo Peep type of character brandishing a crook, a creep with metal attachments pulling the sides of their mouth apart in a clownlike rictus, and another stilted freak with a droopy troll face, fangs, a kind of helmet that looked almost like a bishop’s miter, and a wicked three-foot-long sword swiped around with great gusto.
Distracted is located within the Woodland Mall in Bowling Green, Ohio, a college town 30 minutes south of Toledo.
GPS will take you to the mall entrance, but might get a little gimpy from there. It usually, and unnecessarily, tells us to go around the back way, but it will become obvious which way to go if you just look for the colored lights and other telltale signs of hauntage. Free parking is in the surrounding mall lot.
Once we entered through the mall doors, we found ticketing straight ahead and got directed to the proper line. We did not get tripped up by any obstacles or safety issues within the attraction, although it seemed this time there might have been a more constrained walkthrough with tighter (and even moving!) walls, so we had to take a little more care than usual.
Distracted’s website offers online ticketing, backstory, videos, directions, and a calendar. They’ve got the full spectrum of social media channels covered as well, with Facebook, YouTube, X, and Instagram.
Affable staff members helped us out and pointed us in the right directions. The owner’s adorable mom serves on most nights as host of the cool-down area directly after the exit.
We imagine we will write some version of this same paragraph unless Distracted ever moves locations: its biggest challenge is being in the middle of a mall with bright lighting, surrounded by storefronts. The Dunham’s Sporting Goods entrance is just past the ticketing table.
Not the best haunt setting unless you are a fawning fan of Dawn of the Dead or Chopping Mall, but they do the best with what they have. Credit where due, the layout has improved since we first started going here.
They’ve dressed the place up with props and photo ops, a display window of red-lit merchandise, and a whole facade of skeleton-lined stonework. Plus, there’s a zombie head on a post with a game of skill attached to it – it’s called Zombie Hooks, of course – and a new, pay-to-play carnival game booth called Cursed Cups. Like our other visits here, several actors roamed around the queue cutting it up with the crowd.
We felt highly immersed inside the attraction. It was a surprising walkthrough as usual, filled with unexpected touches – not a checklist that hits all the same notes as 50 other attractions. For instance, we found no vortex or squeeze tunnel. The custom-made costumes and props helped make it feel fresh, which pumped up the immersion along with a group of active actors.
Right before entering, we enjoyed an extended chat at the door with the parasol character. They asked about our RSVPs to the feast and ragged on us about not bringing a dish to share, might we have any eyeballs to donate?
The feast motif continued to play out inside with videos of cannibalism, tables set with deplorable dishes, the appearance of the voracious Blood Beast, and an actor ordering us to ring the dinner bell (cans on a string) before entering a room with a very hungry inhabitant.
We exited the attraction outside into what they call the Recovery Zone, a short ways down from the entrance doors. It’s a lovely little respite from the horrors inside. Here, you can enjoy hot cocoa, cold water, and roasted marshmallows while taking a pic at the Vamp Camp photo booth (fangs and capes provided).
Or take a snap at one of the other photo ops, including a large backdrop of artwork dressed up with autumnal pumpkins, hay, and cornstalks, or an awesome monster with glowing red eyes, gaping maw of razor teeth, and batwinged ears.
Distracted designed and built a dense playground of fearful fun. The tight corridors led to scenes like a deadly barber shop where the shaves are a little too close for comfort (judging by the trophy pictures on the wall depicting numerous customers/victims) and a table where a skeleton sat before a grisly buffet of deconstructed humans.
We slid by a whining circular saw, traversed a hallway of hanging heads that brushed our faces with their long hair wigs, and watched video screens showing blood-smeared people eating questionable things. The most impressive set ushered us into a Chuck E. Cheese kind of establishment with video games, a stage, and large Five Nights at Freddy’s type figures.
The best part? Just about everything here was made by the haunt, so the pieces are unique but fit together well and share the same artfulness and design aesthetic. You won’t find a place that looks like this anywhere else.
The strange and unearthly soundtrack brought together swirly droning music as well as more traditional tunes like the Happy Birthday song, screams, beastly screeches and groans, bells and whistles, sirens, and the electrifying crackle of shock sticks.
21. How scary was it? (35% of score): 8.2
22. How well did they provide scares to everyone in the group? (15% of score): 8.8
23. How predictable were the scares? (25% of score): 8.6
24. How well did they provide a wide variety (types) of scares? (10% of score): 7.9
25. How strong was the ending / finale? (15% of score): 7.8
First off, they made the place a lot more claustrophobic since our last visit. We could feel the walls closing in on us from the very start, producing many tight scenarios between slanted floors and angled walls. Textural features like protuberant surfaces that felt like Brillo pads deepened the uncomfortableness, and effects such as being crushed between moving walls made the squeeze plays even more literal and scarifying.
The tight surroundings also put us closer to the monsters, who found it that much easier to squick us out. The Hatter placed us in a cage before releasing us into an even worse situation. There was no escape from a ground crawler who posted up in a narrow corner to bar our way or the Blood Beast that blocked our exit, until they felt like letting us go. Being so close, we also got a chance to keenly observe the terrific/horrific costuming even when we didn’t want to. Stella commanded us to look her in the eyes when talking to her – that was tough to do!
They did surprising and out of the ordinary things with actors, sets, and scenes that kept us off-kilter and uneasy. There’s a certain comfort level that comes with checking off a trip through tropes of butcher shop – carnival – asylum that is not present here.
While they did have a couple standard style sets like a gross table of disgusting dishes, for the most part a more freewheeling sensibility led to trying out weird ideas and mashing together standard haunt elements in new ways. This went a long way toward building a strange and surreal atmosphere, helped in no small part by the bizarre soundtrack.
So, they effectively did jump scares, slow scares, prop scares, and distraction scares – but they all seemed deepened by the sense that something was ‘off,’ thus heightening the tension and feeling of surreality.
We traipsed through Distracted and managed to avoid becoming a Dark Feast course in 18 minutes. They have squeezed a couple more minutes in since our last visit two years ago while increasing the ticket price by only $1, so nice job on that! It’s a winning value formula if they can keep it up.
With the $25 general admission, the MPD (minutes of in-haunt entertainment per dollar) came out to 0.72. You can also order a ‘screaming 6-pack’ of tickets for $20 each. Groups of 20+ get in for $18 each. Fast pass goes for $33.
So, that 0.72 MPD is lower than the 1.0 we use as the standard benchmark – meaning $1 for every minute spent in the attraction. But we would still consider this a pretty good value. Why?
We experienced unusual things, unique things. We witnessed costumes and props we have not and will not see elsewhere.
Not to mention, there’s a lot going on besides the attraction itself: multiple photo ops, the hooks game and carnival game inside, roasting a marshmallow, and all the other Recovery Zone stuff, even a photo album you can page through of fabulous monster looks from over the years.
It’s a Dark Feast, all right – a heaping, horrifying serving of haunt yumminess topped with a special sauce only Distracted can deliver.
1234 Main Street, Bowling Green, Ohio 43402