Sinister Schoolhouse Review (2024)

In the Dark Circus cast of devious, twisted clowns, we were met with almost every painted fiend imaginable! From wall-slinkers to panel-poppers, these clowns knew where to creep up when we least expected it. Staring, lurking, and laughing, their antics were as unpredictable as they were unnerving.

While some clowns nailed their lines, a little extra creativity in their threats could make the experience even creepier. Some generic phrases, such as “Where are you going? and “Wanna play?” and piercing screams were used when creepier dialogue could have enhanced these encounters. Overall, these cast members had enough tricks to keep us entertained, if not totally on edge, as we never knew when we’d encounter one. But seriously, after an evening with this circus of sinister performers, we’re unsure if we’ll ever trust a clown again!

Slappy the Clown was determined to keep us in his box room for good, while Lulu, who must have had a bad day, added her own unique yelling style – maybe a bit too much for our taste, but she got the point across – she wanted to turn our heads into balloons because they go “Pop!” The Ringleader was another standout and the tiny clown who crept along the stair railing as we neared the exit.

The costumes in the Dark Circus blended just the right amount of color and creep to keep us guessing – and jump-scaring. These outfits matched the rooms and settings so well that sometimes we couldn’t tell where the clowns ended and the scenery began, making for some genuinely sneaky startles!

No two clowns looked the same. There was a colorful blend of both makeup and masks. Some makeup designs featured vibrant colors and spirals for a playful-meets-sinister vibe. While a few masks looked a little worse for wear (a ripped queue clown mask, for one), most were well-fitted and gave the clowns an unsettlingly lifelike quality. Some accessories, like neon earrings, gloves, and pigtails, added a pop of detail, making the costuming feel more realistic. We’d also like to note that the clowns had different hairstyles and colors.

The Ringleader sported the most complete costume, with darkened eyes, a hat, gloves, colored contacts, and a real whip! While many of the clowns matched their areas well, as noted, a few were in jumpsuits or work wear when we felt additional colorful attire would help them blend into the chaos better as well.

The school building that housed Dark Circus wasn’t necessarily a challenge for us to find. There was a lack of signage until we arrived at the haunt, and the space was a little dark. Free parking was located across the street and lit up enough for us to see, but crossing the road to get to the haunt was a little iffy. It also took us a minute to find the glowing sign for the ticket booth, which is technically located around the back of the schoolhouse. We also didn’t notice any big safety concerns during our visit. We were given 3D glasses before having to walk down a stairway right after, which proved to be kinda spooky in itself with our slightly blurred vision, but that was about it.

The staff greeted us upon arrival, and everyone was very kind and informative about the school and the haunt they’d created. We all felt very welcome and enjoyed talking about our experience afterward!

At this time, Haunted Pembroke does not have a website, but it does have a Facebook page with its address, contact info, customer reviews, and photos of the haunt. However, it was somewhat difficult to locate hours and dates of operation and ticket prices.

And we thought the old (and probably actually haunted) school building was scary enough! We got to appreciate creepy flickering lights, rockin’ tunes, and clowns watching us through the windows as we waited in line for our turn in this funhouse. The Ringleader also made our wait in the queue enjoyable and prepared us for the spooks to come as well. The first room we passed through in the queue and the entrance to the attraction itself were both glowing and after viewing these crazy colors through the 3D glasses we were given, we got a little more insight into what we were in for. The voice overhead in the first area explaining the rules and regulations was extremely well-placed, with no other distractions, and it kept our attention going over the important stuff!

The majority of this attraction stayed true to its dark circus theme: all the clowns you could ever need and bright, neon lights that kept us disoriented throughout the entire maze. Some transitions between areas were a little confusing and barren, and there were also some empty spots that having a few more actors to fill the gaps would surely fix. Near the end of our visit, we were guided upstairs, which brought us back to the haunted school vibe. While that was extremely cool, it did feel a bit strange how quickly it switched from the circus full of clowns to an eerie auditorium. We did end up meeting with the Ringleader again, though, who turned out to be quite the tour guide!

After our time had come to an end and we got to remove our 3D glasses, we found ourselves back outside by the ticket booth. Some further entertainment, such as concessions and merch to purchase, games to play, etc. would be a lovely future addition to the large open space behind the school!

While this attraction didn’t mainly rely on big animatronics and detailed props like others might, there were still plenty of elements to Pembroke that made it spooky! Ringing school bells and flashing lights to match sudden sounds are just a couple of examples. A few areas were quiet, and some thrilling carnival music we feel could’ve really enhanced them. But elsewhere, there was booming bass and creepy music box melodies.

We did encounter plain black walls here and there that could’ve been painted up as much as the others. However, other effects such as fog, lasers, and funhouse mirrors added more ways to get lost but also forced us further into the madness. One hallway had things hanging from the ceiling that, while we couldn’t see exactly what they were, it felt like spider webs and spiders crawling all over us. Yuck! There was also a room full of hanging tubes and strobe lights that we got stuck in trying to find our way out for far too long (but we did it!).

If you’re afraid of clowns, for obvious reasons, this might not be the best choice for you. In all seriousness, though, our group was given quite a few good scares from the zany actors inside. We went through in a rather small group, but everyone was equally picked on and toyed with! We did have a lot of screaming in our faces and jumpscares; a bit more variety would go a long way for these talented individuals, such as utilizing their spaces more for scares or adding in props.

Scares weren’t always predictable, for there were a lot of black curtains painted to match the walls that actors definitely used to their advantage to pop out from behind when we least expected it. The only other thing to note would be the ending, for while there were lots of clowns pestering us (one even having a chainsaw), we got a little lost, and it took us a moment to get back downstairs and out of the exit. It felt a bit too simplistic, but we know this place is capable of making a grand finale possible!

Our “Lost Maze” adventure clocked in at around 14 minutes. Seriously, we didn’t think those clowns would let us out at times! With the $20 general admission price, their MPD (minutes of entertainment received per dollar spent) is 0.7. While a bit on the lighter side for haunt-goers who love extended stays (we aim for a 1:1 ratio), it’s worth noting that the time spent inside will vary based on how easily you navigate the maze’s twists and tricks. If the clowns decide they like you… they might just keep you spinning in circles a bit longer!

General admission includes 3D glasses! It’s great to know that a portion of the proceeds (40%) go to the Trenton SchoolHouse, supporting their non-profit mission – an extra reason to dive into the darkness! Parking was also free, which is always a plus. They did let us know that there are generally food trucks on-site. During our visit, they had a festival going on.

During our wait, two characters roamed the crowd, and some music filled the air, setting the mood for “The Darkest Show on Earth.” While we enjoyed watching the midway antics, we’d love to see additional photo ops outside to add to the atmosphere.

If you’re ready for a night of thrills and chills under the big top, HauntedPembroke has you covered with their twisted Dark Circus! Prepare for a creepy, clown-filled adventure where the scares are in 3D, the laughs are uneasy, and each turn brings you closer to becoming part of the show!