When crazed doctors walk the floor, broken bodies will rise once more
Mummies wake and runes alight, filling your soul with gnawing fright
Spiders skitter and serpents snap, your darkest fears will keep you trapped
Harlequins’s crazed laughter fills the room, this twisted maze will be your doom
Chainsaws sing and banjos pluck, toxic creatures slink in the muck
Tortured souls through forests creep, nightmarish terrors will haunt your sleep
By the pricking of my thumbs, something wicked this way comes

Step right up, folks, and witness the terror of Land of Illusion Scream Park! For 27 years, Land of Illusion has been terrorizing the residents of southwestern Ohio with a plethora of shrieks, screams, chills, kills, and laughter (of the maniacal sort). Opening for their 28th year, Land of Illusion hopes to continue the tradition and more, making your every nightmare realized.

Six tantalizing terrors await their foolish guests, each one promising its own special brand of fear. Returning to the lineup are the famous Middletown Haunted Trail, Phobia, Killer Klowns, and Dr. Psycho’s Haunted Estate. The Temple of Terror has returned as well, but with a wagonload of upgrades and frills that would give Indy a run for his money (snakes, why did it have to be snakes?) New this year is Toxic Hillbillies (previously Dysphoria), where a toxic, neon substance has infiltrated an old bunker, mutating the residents within and driving them insane. Now ‘The Family’ welcomes you with open arms and roaring chainsaws, hoping to add you to the compound’s gorey…aesthetic.

Land of Illusion also offers its patrons all the creature comforts you come to expect from a park – food, spirits, music, and gifts. With a mortuary full of frights, fun, and festivities, you’ll never want to go home (and let’s be honest, you probably won’t). Haunt season has begun, children. What realities await us in the land where nothing is as it seems?

Our first encounter of the night was with the shadowy figures who frolicked in the temple’s dark abyss. It seemed like we encountered more of them this time, though there were still plenty of empty caskets and dark corners begging for a few more lurking scarers. However, many of those who did emerge from the shadows were convincing, delivering solid dialogue that sometimes tied into the storyline – a notable improvement from past visits. They brought an energy that felt like it erupted straight from the collapse of the cave-in, adding an extra layer of intensity to their performances. In addition, they showcased a variety of movements and dialogue, even altering their voices to keep us on edge throughout the experience. One even hissed at us like a snake!

The Underminer stuck with us for most of the journey, and his intimidating presence and story-driven dialogue made him a standout character of the night. We were excited to stumble upon Anubis, The Hound of Hell, who expelled divine dialogue as they inched closer and closer to us. Do we trust them or run? Run! And run, we did when a bushman crouched down on all fours and came crawling at us! That bush gets us every single time we go through! We’re unsure if it’s the same person hiding in there, but Scare Factor – 0, Temple Bushman – 5 and counting.

While there were solid characters that frantically lunged at us, suddenly appeared from the darkness, or ones who tried to take our souls, there were a few that weren’t entirely as believable. A bit of “hurry up, go on” took us out of the vibe a bit. We know we need to keep moving, and sometimes we can be a bit slow, but the actress who said, “Keep walking, or I’m going to hang you by your feet!” has the right idea for keeping groups moving! Also, one of you asked how we like our fingers… We like them attached to our hands!

Next, we found ourselves do-si-doing with some Toxic Hillbillies! Although their idea of a dance was a bit…different from ours. Thanks to this attraction’s mind-bending maze, you never quite know who – or what – you’ll stumble upon. But trust us, it’s not the banjos you must watch out for… it’s the dueling chainsaws!

We’re pretty confident they routed us through every nook and cranny of this makeshift dwelling. Along the way, we met a few colorful characters, though it felt like they could use a few more to fill those empty cages – and help catch their next meal! Some kinfolk were more tight-lipped, while others, like Uncle Cleat, were quick on their feet.

Though the hillbillies were mostly verbally interactive and convincing, they could crank up the scare factor. Their antics entertained us more than terrified us, making them less believable. Aside from Cleat, we crossed paths with one crawling low to the ground, a screaming victim, and a lady who warned us that the soup would give us “pickle butt” – and we didn’t doubt her! If you’re not familiar with pickle butt… ask those darn hillbillies!

The Middletown Haunted Trail was packed with actors and was easily the best-staffed haunt at the park. This cast was also among the most believable, fully engaging with our group verbally and physically, making great use of their props and surroundings. The variety of characters kept things fresh, with only a few moments where two seemed alike – though, in one case, that might’ve worked to their advantage. We’re still scratching our heads, wondering if there was one Michael or two… either way, it was mind-blowing!

To summarize the cast of characters we encountered on the trail, it crawled with crazies who had no respect for personal space – leaving us cowering and running for our lives! Up to five villains swarmed us simultaneously, each eager to slice and dice us. We faced a deep-voiced villain stealing bodies, a contorted crawler, an interactive nurse, patients scaling the walls, a talking pumpkin (just press the button), a giant baby, and let’s just say not all spiders stick to two legs – major yikes!

As for the dialogue, they had so much to say it left our heads spinning. Most were aggressive in their vocals, shifting tones to keep us on edge. No matter what we said, they had a sharp retort ready. One was trying to get us to drink blood while others were busy hurling threats of unspeakable cruelty.

At one point, a villain snatched the soul of one of our group members, and before we knew it, we watched a game of “Toss Nora’s Soul” until one of them finally ATE it! They also wanted to cut our retinas out and wear them as contacts. Folks, this is not a friendly crew. Be wary of how long you linger here…

The most believable of the bunch included Reverend Mordecai Black, the spider lady, the exposed-brain worker in the pipes, the creepy-voiced body snatcher, and the soul stealer. But there were so many scareactors here that you must visit and experience them all for yourself! In the words of the Reverend, we were “absolutely screwed” during our visit!

The next house, Phobia, kicked off with pure disgust. Huge props to the two handling the crime scene area – holy moly, we’re not sure how you deal with that smell – clearly, one of you didn’t. There was at least one in every scene, but we found ourselves missing those elusive, cloaked figures that used to melt out of the dark shadows in between, nearly impossible to spot. Dr. Death was the most convincing of them all, even tossing a spider at one of our group members. Madam Zeelah also stood out as she gave us a message from the others “beyond the veil.”

Once again, we let those pesky Killer clowns get into our heads. And what did we learn? We’re still breaking our own rules! They were out to whip up more cotton candy during our visit, which sounded great – until we realized we were the main ingredient!

Clowns, clowns, everywhere! We encountered so many it quickly stopped being funny. Coming in as some of the most interactive cast members of the night, even those without coulrophobia will be terrified and entertained by this twisted circus.

These clowns had plenty to show off, from their cotton candy machine to a torn-off nose and even a few nightmares brought to life! Toodles and Doodles were up to their usual antics while we had a run-in with the fashionably frightening Jester, Jingles, straight out of your worst nightmare. A noseless clown even tried to give us a spider nose! They attempted to force-feed us cotton candy and had us playing a twisted game of “Which clown is real?” If you’re looking for a chaotic crew of clowns – this is, indeed, it!

The experiments and beings under Dr. Psycho’s grasp were indeed something to behold! While the variety wasn’t as strong, and the dialogue leaned more generic, there were still plenty of patients we didn’t want to get too close to!

Patient Unknown, the fastest of the bunch, darted through the chaos while the plant monster brought a creepy, believable vibe. Patient Zero slid and sparked at us, and the fellow in the kitchen, who could smell fear, was also a standout. We were also asked to “stay and play a board game.” While we love to play games… that, ma’am, was no regular game – that was an Ouija board! No wonder all of you lunatics had a disturbing obsession with injections, drinking blood, and seeing the doctor. The doctor himself was wildly entertaining, frantically jumping from hospital bed to hospital bed, stabbing and beating his patients. However, it was hard to tell he was the doctor, as he blended in with the rest of the deranged dwellers. We would love to see more in the future on how this character can further develop into a more obvious Dr. Psycho.

The Temple’s mystical and mischievous inhabitants were a shocking sight to behold. From the instant we descended to the elevator shaft, we were greeted by The Underminer, a lost and tortured soul from long ago. The Underminer appeared to be an explorer who attempted to cash out on loot but was unsuccessful; he now stalks the visitors throughout the Temple. Outfitted in traditional exploration gear: stained, tattered, and covered in cobwebs. He also had a light in his mouth. His face was corpse-like and bloody, along with a handful of other doomed explorers you will encounter within the Temple.

Long before the explorers discovered it, the Temple was home to some terrifyingly detailed myths and legends. In all his bony, skinless glory, Anubis will judge your soul as he appears before you, not quite as “in the flesh” as you might expect. Mummies and cursed Egyptian goddesses lurked around every corner. They were bloodied and dirty, with plenty of makeup showcased in unique designs such as glyphs and spiderwebs to establish the look as bonafide monsters. While it was dark down in those catacombs, the costumes we could see matched their surroundings and theme very well.

The Toxic Hillbillies were a group of deranged radioactive rednecks that have developed an appetite for human flesh, and they must have been hungry because we heard that dinner bell ringing! Uncle Cleat was the first hillbilly we encountered, donning a bloody denim vest and comically small straw hat. He led us deeper into the maze to see his family members, who were all so eager to eat, I mean, MEET us.

There was an array of nasty and grotesque family members covered in tattered and torn rags. Some of them exhibited some side effects of the nuclear waste; you could even say they were “glowing” with excitement. One particular family member was wearing a victim’s face as a mask. However, that was all his costume consisted of. If he were dirtier and wearing some country clothing, he’d be far more terrifying. Some of the chainsaw-wielding brother outfits seemed a bit repetitive with overalls and no shirt, but the elaborate body and face paint made up for it. Eventually, we met with an Undead Cowboy who cracked his whip and sent a collective chill down everyone’s spine!

We quickly realized that the Middletown Haunted Trail is no typical haunted trail. The supernatural and cosmic horrors that awaited us were straight out of your worst nightmares! Nearly every character had a different get-up and featured notable details, all while blending in with the scenery around them. Both makeup and masks matched their scenes and were used well.

The ragtag group at the beginning of the trail were an interesting bunch. Wild and gnarly-looking barn animals and a gross and filthy-looking farmer toted a bottle of Tennessee Whiskey that really sold the character. A comically dressed classic tour guide, bloody and ravaged by some unseen beast, sent us on our way. From there, we encountered sewer dwellers who seemed to create their wardrobes from whatever they could find, which in one case turned out to be Police crime scene tape and toilet paper! Bloody sewer dwellers stalked us out, and we might have even witnessed Satan himself!

From the sewer, we encountered more toxic waste psychos, one of which had a really interesting Harlequin-like Frankenstein construction, sewn together from different neon body parts. The further we went, the more twisted and sadistic the characters became. Satanic nurses and demonic bikers were lunging for us left and right. Wenches and witches dressed in gypsy gowns tried cursing us, and there was a victim they had turned into a smoldering pumpkin head! The spider queen led us into her lair, and the surprise at the end of the tunnel will leave your skin “crawling.” We’re still not sure how they did the eyes…

In addition, we came across a big man-baby with pooh ALL over him, chainsaw-wielding psychos in all sorts of colors and looks, demented crypt keepers, exposed pipe workers, and many characters toting props and objects that complimented their overall looks. Overall, we noticed quite a few improvements in the costuming department on the trail this year.

Upon greeting our skull-exposed guide in Phobia, we quickly realized that we were in for a ride! Some of the inhabitants who gave us a real shock were some electrocuted electricians complete with fried skin and some masked ghoul with a cattle prod. A gruesome crime scene followed, equipped with a decomposing investigator and clean-up technician! Looks like they might have been victims of a masked killer rabbit! Madame Zeelah, an undead gypsy with creepy makeup, might spin the wheel of fortune but don’t let it turn against you. In the snake den, we were ambushed by a snake person who had detailed scale face paint and would greatly benefit from some snake contacts and a swimmer’s cap! Doctor Death had quite a realistic mask. However, his lab coat lacked any blood or grime apparent in his surrounding scene – he’s super clean at what he does! A dead beekeeper warned us not to touch the bees, which is good advice, considering he appeared to have a beehive attached to his face! We barely escaped being chased out by a hazmat jumpsuit-wearing cartoon mouse and an undead parade conductor (?) who seemed a bit out of place but scary nonetheless!

In Killer Klowns, there was quite an assortment of rambunctious and deranged clowns lurking around every corner. Toodles and Doodles, the twin sister clowns, were such a great pair, bloody and jolly, distinguishable only by their names emblazoned on their backs. Some others had bright and vibrant outfits in an array of neon colors and patterns, if you could tell through the blood and grime that covered them.

Several clowns featured detailed masks that complemented their outfits well, along with different hair colors and styles. One clown had his nose cut off, leaving a bloody stump on his face that he carried around with him, attempting to put it on visitors! The cotton candy clown had sickly twisted black and green makeup that was very detailed. A ringleader clown appeared to have removed another clown’s face and made a mask out of it.

There was a black and white creepy jester named Jingles and a marshmallow-feeding, black-tongued grandpa clown! We also noticed that one clown’s jumpsuit had tickets all over it. It’s a surprise we escaped the clown’s neon nightmare at all! Not only did they act the part but they looked it, too!

Our visit to Dr. Psycho’s was one that nobody would soon forget. The doctor runs a state-of-the-art mental facility whose patients are excited to meet you! Most of the doctors’ patients were dressed accordingly in hospital gowns; however, a few just wore bloody shirts and didn’t look like residents at a medical facility. We would also like to see more intricate details alluding to experimentation… arms poking out of heads, scales on human flesh, etc.

Patient Unknown was one of the first of the doctor’s little experiments we encountered. His appearance was dirty and crazy, complemented by a haunting mask. We then met the greenhouse patient dressed in what remained of a straight jacket, whose terrifying mask will have you running. As we continued, we discovered more of the doctor’s experiments, some with terrifying teeth and another with an exposed brain that was mid-procedure! A leather-masked Patient Zero and the doctor’s surgery assistant were especially scary, but the blood-soaked nun with red contacts left a haunting impression on us all. We finally encountered the doctor in all his blood-soaked lab coat glory, busy at work stabbing a patient.

Before visiting Land of Illusion, we had little trouble finding information about the attraction. The website was full of helpful information, and it was also well-covered on social media. The only thing left to do was pile in the car and go! Road Trip!

Our GPS took us directly to the park, so we didn’t have to guess if we were in the right place. All signs were well-lit, a searchlight could be seen from the road, and people were present to help us get parked. Parking was $10 per car via credit card ($8 cash) and plentiful in a freshly paved lot.

The entrance to the park, with its spooky castle facade, immediately immersed us in the experience, making it very clear where to go. Multiple ticket stations were visible just before we entered, making the purchase process straightforward. After getting tickets, you will pass through the gates and undergo a quick security check. Then, it’s time to embrace the scares!

Once inside, we quickly noticed the park map, indoor restrooms, and a bar. All six attractions had separate lines, and they were all marked very well. Park staff were walking around and easy to identify in case any questions or concerns came up. They also have security throughout the park at all times. Also, most staff members that we came across were super friendly and helpful.

Inside the haunts, we noticed a few ramps, uneven ground, and a dark set of steps on the trail. We recommend lighting these, as it was hard to navigate them. We also encountered one shock stick scare on a dimly lit flight of stairs before all our group members stepped off them.

Upon entering the parking lot, you’ll likely feel just as we did, knowing you’re in for quite the scare… or rather, scares. The large entryway resembled a haunted house, one that most of us typically wouldn’t even hesitate to run away from. With its colored lights, menacing gargoyles, and frightening projections in the windows, just the ticket line brought uneasy connotations to those of us brave enough to face our fears. It almost felt like we were walking into a dream… or better yet, a nightmare.

We hadn’t a clue what to expect beyond the turnstiles, and it turns out that was a common theme throughout the entire night. Once we made it in, there were concessions sure to spark anyone’s interest, haunting signs pointing to the restrooms we’d most likely need at some point, actors creeping around and interacting with anyone and everyone, and even music and entertainment on the main stage in the middle of the park. A little something for everyone! We arrived before the sun had set, but as the moon came out to play, the creatures we’d soon face did as well…

Simply put, Temple of Terror was a brilliant start to the night! We didn’t even have to read the name of this haunt to see what we were getting into. From the exterior, it doesn’t look like much space to withhold an entire cursed temple, but the minute we headed inside for the queue line, it was almost like we were transported somewhere entirely different.

The Underminer gave us the rundown, all while runes and darkness surrounded us. If you’re claustrophobic at all, this might be the scariest haunt of the night for you! If the enclosed cavern around you while you wait for your expedition doesn’t do it, the unstable elevator ride might! We almost had to hold onto each other on the ‘way down.’

The dread (and also perhaps the excitement) builds with every step as we were forced to take the “scenic route” due to a “little bit of a cave-in.” Feelings of spider webs brushing over us left everyone’s skin crawling, and the hieroglyphics glowing from souls trapped within the walls had us feeling like we might never escape. The differing textures of flooring beneath us felt more realistic than we’d like to admit. Countless amounts of corpses decorated the walls and ceilings, proof of past excavators that tried to uncover the mysteries before us but didn’t live to tell the tale.

Most of this temple was eerily quiet, which was a perfect addition to the suspense! However, there were growls and roars of creatures in the distance we soon were forced to face. We also survived falling ceilings, a room full of mutated bats, and a trek across a rope bridge over running water. Near the end, we forged on through the dark abyss and made it back out into the park, impressed by how immersed we were inside the temple!

When we headed towards the Toxic Hillbilllies, we could see the glow of the toxicity from a mile away, and hear some intense banjo strumming as well. This jumbled maze had us all turned around from the start, and one of our main scares near the beginning was running into friends from the group that had entered behind us. This happened a few times throughout the haunt, with actors having to help lead different guests astray.

There were also some empty spaces here and there where we felt actors could’ve been, and the lack of interaction in those areas made it harder to find our way. But it sure did smell like a farm out there! And the folk music blaring throughout the deranged labyrinth might not have been fear-evoking on its own, but paired with the revving of chainsaws and screams from guests lost in the toxic mess, it made everyone’s blood run cold. Lastly, the rednecks didn’t stop there; they chased us all out when we refused to join in on their “fun!”

Next was the attraction that started it all and, as we were later introduced, was quoted to be the “first of its kind in Ohio to feature real serial killers, ghosts, ghouls, and legendary creatures.” We were lined up against a fence, which in itself might not sound too scary, but hearing what lay beyond it sure was! Not to mention the actors terrorizing us from either side of the fence while we waited.

Even with this being a traditional haunted trail, the lot of us still had no clue as to what horrors awaited us around every corner (apart from the audible and visual hints we got during our transitions to other scenes, that is). While not everything we encountered was related to one another, the unpredictability just added to the madness. Some very memorable areas included aliens and blaring sirens, Michael Myers getting the jump on us (literally) as he attacked from above, toxic wasteland raves (who knew so many bright lights and colors could be so scary), and long creepy hallways with red lighting at the end. What could go wrong? Simple answer: lots.

Some important things to note for this haunt are to beware of chainsaw-wielding maniacs in outhouses, you might get rabies, and if a witch asks you to press a button on a man with a pumpkin head, trust us and just do it. If you’re lucky enough to find the end like us, don’t let your guard down just yet as you head back into the park. There might be more creatures lurking…

The trail has worked hard to seclude guests into the chaos while building walls and large scenes to avoid keeping the line of sight back to the busy park. Even in the chaos, a few things seemed slightly out of place, such as a menacing, very new staircase we all walked up just to cross a dark walkway and then descend back down some stairs again. While we know many are afraid of heights, it didn’t quite match the rest of this grueling trail… yet.

Phobia takes the phrase “facing your fears” and turns it into a reality! We indeed faced a wide variety of common phobias, so anyone who dares enter is bound to be made uncomfortable to some degree. The spine-chilling queue is only the beginning; sounds (and, unfortunately, also scents) captivated us with every twist and turn, making us afraid of things we’d never been scared of before.

We learned to fear darkness before anything else; it follows us all throughout this blackout haunt! Not every scene was the easiest to decipher what it represented, but at the same time, everyone is afraid of something! Just a handful of some that we encountered were dolls, snakes that bit us, spiders that made our skin crawl, aliens, and the paranormal. Oh, and don’t forget that paranoia (we were always being watched, after all). We recommend going with a group; your worst fears might consume you if you go alone!

There was a noticeable front-of-the-group focus from the actors, which made the experience more terrifying for some than others. While the transitions between fears were sudden, they did seem to flow together well, and it was easy to tell the theme of each area.

If we thought the clowns from Phobia were bad, we weren’t ready for what would come inside Killer Klowns. The utterly empty and dark hallway we waited in definitely didn’t do this not-so-funhouse justice! The sign over the entrance said, “Welcome to the Circus,” and that couldn’t have been more true!

No one in our group was safe from the madness, and the craziness was spreading through the air. The intensity and energy from these clowns was nonstop, with hardly any room to recover (in the best of ways). It was hard to tell if these were actors or just, well, possibly real killer clowns! We forged on through the disorienting neon colors, cotton candy walls and tunnel, trippy mirrors, and rooms that made us question our size, not once left to question what was going on. The bottomless pit floor and force-feeding of marshmallows just proved further what the jester claimed: They weren’t there for our entertainment, we were there for theirs. Well, they surely put on a show for us, and didn’t stop until we were way back out into the park!

In Dr. Psycho’s, our queue here was also somewhat misleadingly lackluster, but the havoc ensued upon entering our first scene of the haunt (a greenhouse). Some of the doctor’s patients here, and throughout other sections of the haunt, were a little difficult to identify what exactly had happened to them. Mutilated patients at the entrance to the asylum gave us a warm welcome after we passed multiple wrecked ambulances, which already gave us some bad vibes about this doctor guy. Very many actors told us the doctor was gonna love us, which might be true, but hearing more about them and their stories would’ve been interesting.

There were also a few areas of the asylum we didn’t quite understand the significance of, including a nun and Ouija board scene that felt a little out of place given what had come before it. With everyone being downright unhinged and insane, it was hard to tell if we’d maybe already run into the doctor himself or not. Turns out we hadn’t; he was busy stabbing patients when we entered his operating room, to which he then indeed seemed rather happy to see us, jumping around from gurney to gurney and screaming at us. He was psycho, alright! But he let us leave almost too easily…

As the night came to a close, parched from screaming and legs aching from all the walking (and running) we’d done, we still had to pay a visit to the horror gift shop on our way out. What a way to end the spookiest of evenings! This is also where you can conveniently purchase your group photos taken throughout the park!

The Temple of Terror is an Egyptian-themed haunt that featured some amazing special effects. The haunt masterfully uses everything from small details up to huge scene elements to make a terrifying experience for guests, but one that is also unique to this haunt. From the glowing hieroglyphics that guide guests through some of the halls to the glittering gold sarcophagus chamber, there are some amazing elements to take in. Don’t get too distracted, though – that golden ceiling in the sarcophagus chamber will fall on your head! The haunt also features some huge animatronics, such as a massive mummified monster, coupled with excellent lighting and sound effects to make an even larger impression on guests. The dedication to the theme can be felt throughout this haunt, making for a special experience for guests.

The Toxic Hillbillies haunt features heavy use of fog and red lighting in a maze to make it extremely difficult to find your way through. Not only did we encounter actors in the maze, but also other guests trying to find their way through the fog. In one scene, guests will encounter an animatronic pet alligator that is proudly shown off by one of the residents. This scene could’ve been stronger with more dynamic movement from the alligator, but the sound effects helped keep this scene fun for guests.

While this haunt received quite a makeover from the previous attraction, Dysphoria, we would love to see more of a hillbilly vibe instilled into the toxic madness. There was one hallway where the walls were covered in wooden slats that helped set the tone. We appreciated the bright, colorful features of the bodies, surroundings, and furniture.

The Middletown Haunted Trail started by welcoming guests into a very realistic sewer system, leading them deeper into the haunt. One of the early scenes was a large chamber where alarm claxons immediately start sounding. Ghouls started rising up on either side of us out of chambers hidden by lasers refracting through the fog. This was an excellent use of fog and sound to induce dread in guests! These monsters also looked like they may have been touched up recently. As we fled whatever impending doom was rising up from the smoke, we were led into a toxic wasteland where a huge crocodile confronted us that we had to dodge.

Another scene guests may find here is a long walkway lit only by strobe lights with multiple chainsaw-wielding actors in pursuit. The strobe lights combined with the open walkway gave the haunt actors the appearance of glitching towards you, making trying to plot an escape route terrifyingly difficult.

With the trail running nearly 30 minutes, there were many effects, scenes, facades, and buildings along the path. Some additional stand-out effects included a smashing wall, school buses protruding from the ground, a newly built nod at the fear of heights (it appeared too new, though), an underground hospital bunker, a sadistic swine scene (also new), a flame thrower, giant pumpkins, Baba Yaga’s chicken-legged hut, full-size buildings, and much, much more!

Phobia featured some of the most intense scenes of the night. One of the earliest scenes featured an effect of an almost overwhelming smell of vomit and rotting meat, complete with the loud buzzing of flies. The audio and olfactory assault, coupled with the realistic gore, made for an outstanding horror scene.

Later, guests may encounter an alien scene that was delightfully detailed, complete with aliens floating in tanks and various equipment to keep them in suspended animation. There was so much to take in here that used special effects to build an amazing scene. We found ourselves torn between wanting to indulge in our fascination and not wanting to be around in case any of them woke up.

If that wasn’t enough, one of the next scenes was a horrifically detailed spider chamber complete with chittering sounds that would send anyone with even mild arachnophobia away screaming. The penultimate scene sent us into a snake chamber featuring hissing and simulated snakes whipping around our ankles that made us pray for the ability to levitate.

Killer Klowns featured a dedication to the theme that comes through in the special effects they choose. Everything lent itself to the demented fun house vibe, from the smell of cotton candy and caramel corn and the bright neon colors to the fun house music that sounded like it was playing off of a melting record; and of course, the clowns everywhere. The contrast between things that should be fun and very clearly scary was a strength that Killer Klowns leaned into. The visual trick of using neon paint in a grid pattern to make a physically shrinking hallway appear as though it’s not to induce a level of cognitive dissonance was fantastic. Other visual tricks the haunt used, such as the twisting tunnels (cotton candy machine) or using mirrors to create an infinity pit with only a narrow board to walk across, were fun effects Klowns used to scare guests.

There were some fun additions to the collection this year. You may wake up inside your worst clown-rrific nightmare, find yourself playing a sadistic carnival game, or even dodging children’s clothes or giant bowling pins… on a slanted floor!

Dr. Psycho’s used excellent lighting and staging in the green house to lure guests in and to help obscure actors in the plants. They also featured wrecked ambulances that were incorporated into the haunt that do a lot to help amp up the feeling of terror. They also went so far as to feature a furnace with real flames that immediately hit guests in the face with a wave of heat. Definitely a cool effect for guests walking into that scene.

The outside of the abode was devilishly detailed, complete with an asylum, a guard tower, a spongy bridge, and a cemetery. Inside, details and scene design fluctuated slightly, with some scenes making more sense than others. There was an increase in gore as we progressed, and the bodies kept piling up…

Just minutes after we entered the park, the scares were already coming at us! Crazed, bloody Zozo, the menacing Butcher, Regan zooming about in her bed, and other roamers were a frequent threat as we made our way through the Land. These characters can turn up pretty much anywhere in the park, so watch your back!

Against our better judgment, our first stop for the night was creeping into the treacherous Temple of Terror to see what artifacts and secrets we could discover. Yeah… “creeping” soon turned into “scurrying, screaming, and cussing” and our main concern became escaping with our lives! Between the good number of robed cultists, cursed creepers, and marauding monsters hunting us through the tombs and some animatronic threats, our nerves were on edge for much of the walkthrough. (Watch your heads – those corpses in the walls may not be fully deceased!) Actors launched ear-splitting screams, threatened us, and made good use of the very dark environment to nail the group more than once in some rooms. Anubis was particularly threatening; between their eerie appearance and roaring voice, they had the front half of our group petrified. At one point we had cultists around us chanting “Sacrifice! Sacrifice!”

Scary as they were, the cast in this house should take care to direct attacks evenly at each group as we noticed they tended to go after the front the most. The finale was fun, but felt a little flat compared to the energy in the rest of the Temple.

The Toxic Hillbilly family seemed a little too happy to welcome us to the neon junkyard they called home. We couldn’t be sure what that glowing green substance was we were seeing everywhere, but it may have turned them a touch aggressive… when we didn’t want to stick around for dinner, they soon decided we’d worn out our welcome and weren’t shy about letting us know it! The labyrinth of tires, curtains, props, and assorted junk provided ample places for actors to pop out unexpectedly. Some got up close and personal with threats, while others chose to stalk our entire party. At one point, we were spooked good by a blaring horn, so it wasn’t just the family you had to worry about in there. Loud growls and bellowing from an unseen beast set our group on edge too. While the finale wasn’t the most unique, it housed one of the craziest chainsaw crews you could ever hope to NOT meet. They demonstrated excellent teamwork and made it so difficult to escape from this toxic junkyard in one piece!

It’s worth mentioning we had split our large group into two smaller ones, but ended up running into each other early in the haunt and decided to more or less go through together. Some actors seemed unsure how to handle that and just followed us around talking when they could have been using their environment, filled with hiding spots, to nail us over and over. The haunt also felt like a slow burn when it came to scariness as we went a while without seeing anyone after entering.

In the Middletown Haunted Trail, these wicked woods were heavily haunted… and we do mean heavily. If your group is brave enough to take on the Trail, be prepared for anything and everything! Actors came at us with multiple chainsaw assaults, struck set pieces with weapons to produce a sharp noise, made threatening comments and animalistic noises, popped out of boo doors, and attempted to zap us with shock sticks. Some scuttled across the path on all fours or scraped props over the ground for more scares. (An actor doing the former and playing a creepy crawly scared a member of our party so badly she hit the dirt!) One patient in the Asylum had an impressively loud scream – that’s how you do it! Michael Myers repeatedly stuck his knife in our faces, even sneaking up on us from behind to catch us off guard, and the actor brandishing a flamethrower (!) got a good startle on one of our group members. Many cast members played well off each other and worked as a team to turn one scare into a snowball of fear… if you were dumb enough to run, you’d quickly regret it. We witnessed some nice distraction scares; a hillbilly was telling us about the alcohol he was imbibing near the big pumpkin scene when a second one attacked out of nowhere with another saw!

Not all scares came from humans, either – you couldn’t always trust the environment. Animatronic guns were fired around us while walking through a bunker, and we had a couple of crazy big actor-matronic puppets roaring and lunging toward our group. Be careful with the finale too… not only was it disorienting, we also found they weren’t quite done with us yet!

All of us got a piece of the action, but we would have liked to see more scares directed towards the rear of the group. Screaming and yelling can be good for putting patrons on edge but the tactic felt overused at times (and can make it hard to hear dialogue when actors’ voices overlap).

Phobia flipped us out of the frying pan and straight into the fire of facing our fears. Shortly upon entering the house, we had a truck blasting its horn and barrelling right at us! Look out! Unsettling audio in multiple rooms left us apprehensive to move through them, and heavy use of fog and darkness had us nearly clinging to each other in fear while we tried to find an exit. An animatronic alien’s claw reached out for a fun startle and we were nailed by an air cannon so powerful it not only blew a group member’s hat off his head, but also pulled another group member’s hair out of her hair tie! That air blast came from a direction we weren’t expecting either. More air cannons would spook us at other points in the haunt. While Phobia was heavier on special effect scares than human ones, we did get terrorized by a decent number of living nightmares. Actors hit fences to startle our group, then climbed them to attack from above! At least one character utilized a shock stick. Dr. Death got in multiple group members’ faces and was put out when we wanted to leave our appointment early. Sorry my guy, the only “extractions” we were interested in was extracting ourselves from this haunted house.

Even when we reached the end, the terrors lurking in the haunt weren’t about to provide us with an easy exit. A handful of clowns and other monsters chased us clear out of the door and tried to block us from leaving!

Coverage in the house was a bit of an issue. Some scenes relied heavily on automated scares, while others could have used more if they couldn’t get an actor or two in there. There was a scene that genuinely creeped us all out (and stunk to high heaven) but the actors didn’t really respond to our presence. We were kind of scratching our heads over that and wondering if they were there for distraction or something else was supposed to happen.

If we thought the Hillbillies were “welcoming,” we received one heck of a welcome from the Killer Klowns: the moment we walked in, they were all over us! Ah, but one of the hardest lessons we’ve learned as a haunt reviewers is to NEVER trust a clown… and it didn’t take long for them all to go from welcoming to purely wicked. Menacing, taunting words, evil cackles, and pop-out scares were thrown at us the whole way through. We saw a few climbing the walls in the fence maze to strike overhead, while others utilized props and tricks. (One appeared to be spitting up tiny spiders and offered them to us in her hand. Ewww!) Do you value your personal space? I sure hope not, because the Klowns didn’t seem to know what that was. We had so many get right up in our faces! They were also fond (really fond) of ganging up on us – watch out for the twins in particular.

The haunt’s finale wasn’t super intense, but it definitely caused some confusion and had us wondering how the heck we could get out for a moment… and constant harassment from the actors absolutely did not help. Much like with Phobia, we had several Klowns (and one Jester) pursue us out the door!

We weren’t sure why, but the haunt sent us in a full group of 10 and that made the distribution of scares somewhat uneven – the back suffered the most. Loud dialogue helps to scare and make customers nervous but it loses effectiveness when everyone is screaming at once. The loss of most of the attraction’s animatronics limited the variety of scares and distractions for the actors to attack.

Crossing over the grounds and sneaking through the asylum to reach Dr. Psycho’s home, it soon became clear terror was the only treatment they had in store for us! Encounters with them were a bit sparse, but a variety of monstrous experiments, crazed patients, and deranged doctors menaced us while we tried to survive the Estate. Actors (like the one in the cremation room) struck set pieces with props to startle us, at least one character had gloves or a prop that made clicking noises, some characters threw threats at our group, and a few made creepy snorting and growling noises. We also had to deal with staredowns and stalking, particularly from the nun upstairs, who chuckled and mentioned she saw “many familiar faces” with an eerie smile. The best automated scare came from a massive drop wall – it was so powerful that it scared one of our group members right to the floor!

With how detailed and genuinely unnerving this house is, we did feel it deserved a stronger finish. We got a great rebound scare from a character we encountered upon entering and the doctor sure was beating the hell out of that poor body on the table, but that was about it. The haunt also could use more directional scares; there was a tendency to mostly go for the front and middle of the group from the ground level.

If you’re looking for a haunted experience packed with diverse entertainment options, Land of Illusion is the perfect destination! We dedicate an entire evening each year to immerse ourselves in LOI’s attractions, but with so much to explore, it’s challenging to take it all in with just a single visit.
During our 2024 visit, general admission tickets were priced at $65, with Fast Passes available for $85. Please note that the park operates on a CASH ONLY basis (although ATMs are available on-site). Since we visited on opening weekend, ticket prices are likely to increase closer to Halloween. Although the initial cost might seem high, it’s worth noting that tickets provide unlimited access to all haunts, allowing guests to revisit their favorites multiple times. Additionally, individual haunt access is available for $35, and general season passes can be purchased for $99 for those who can’t get enough of the thrills. Yearly passes are also available and give you access to other seasonal attractions such as Aqua Adventures and Christmas Glow. These passes also have awesome perks such as discounts on merchandise, free parking and bring-a-friend free tickets.
Our trek through all 6 attractions took around 73.5 minutes to complete, bringing our MPD (minutes per dollar spent) score to 1.13, which is on par with other haunted attractions in the area. We highly encourage the fast pass option, as on busier days, it can be hard to see all of the attractions. Online fastpass tickets are available for 67 dollars, which will narrowly change the MPD score to 1.09, which is still very respectable and well worth the investment.
For those who wish to experience the scream park without getting scared, ”no boo” necklaces are available for purchase at the main gate and will allow you to explore the haunted grounds without interference from the many roaming scare actors. Cozy up to the fire pit and sip on a cocktail from the Voodoo Lounge, grab a snack from The Creepy Cafe, watch some micro-wrestling or other events at the main stage, or dance to your favorite hits from DJ Chris Lutz – There is so much for the entire family to enjoy! Bull riding is also available next to Phobia for a small up-charge.
Keep an eye on the official website for updates on special events. Themed weekends feature a variety of unique experiences, including steampunk, crazy clowns, classic horror slashers, and witches. Additionally, live entertainment is available on select weekends, including performances by bands such as The Naked Karate Girls.
We have been visiting Land of Illusion since its early days as the Middletown Haunted Trail, and every season we are impressed by its continued growth and expansion. The transformation over the years has been remarkable, and we cannot emphasize enough how much fun this haunted scream park is! If you’re on-the-fence about visiting, we hope this review encourages you to do so. Land of Illusion Haunted Scream Park offers an abundance of attractions and experiences that are sure to entertain.

Total time spent in each haunt:
Temple of Terror: 9 mins
Middletown Haunted Trail: 27.5 mins
Toxic Hillbillies: 9.5 mins
Phobia: 7.5 mins
Killer Klowns: 9 mins
Dr. Psycho’s Haunted Estate: 11 mins

*Team Zombillies, Team Lone Wolf, and Team Enchanted Seance co-wrote this review.