Past Tense After Dark is a cider mill gone spooky for October. This attraction consists of a haunted hayride, haunted house, and corn maze.
On the night of our visit, the corn maze did not have any actors due to being short-staffed, so this haunt was not considered in our scoring.
PTAD has more than enough room and activities to hold your attention for an evening of family fun. These haunts have an ‘old-school-‘ type feel, providing you with scares for all ages. With family activities during the day, this is a good haunt to take the first-timer to experience.
House of Horrors: 7.18
The Hayride of Despair: 5.71
A majority of the cast that was present seemed young, but they were enthusiastic about their characters. Some were less convincing than others, but they get an A for effort.
We feel that PTAD could’ve use a few more bodies to keep the hayride moving along at a better pace as well. The hayride portion had quite a few lulls, and the scenes seemed to be few and far between. The best part of a hayride is the potential for people popping out of the corn, as it is the perfect camouflage. However, presumably also due to being short-staffed, PTAD wasn’t able to use the gift of the corn to its fullest potential. We feel that more actors hiding in the corn and the scenes would have made for a much more enjoyable hayride.
Notable mentions for the hayride across the board were the two clowns who put on a great show together. They weren’t so much “scary,” but at least it was entertaining and they had good banter between each other. Also, the hillbilly girl made her way onto the hayride and chose the ideal victims to spend some time getting to know. Again, not so much scary, but a little on the weird/creepy side, for sure!
The haunted house had a good number of actors, but there were some quiet areas that probably could have benefited from having a few more monster on tap as well. You always know a devoted actor when they climb up to the ceiling of a barn to hide and then jump down behind you at the perfect moment. Kudos, my scary friend!
Inside the haunted house, more clowns roamed about and gave us a joke that had us in stitches! A chained victim provided quite the scare and had great timing – my personal favorite. The dialogue, though, seemed stagnant and the same phrases were repeated for most of the time.
House of Horrors: 7.5
The Hayride of Despair: 4.91
A handful of the actors had decent costumes put together. A majority of them, however, were simply dark street clothes with some makeup. A werewolf mask attached to a body wearing a standard shirt and pants did give us a startle due to the speed at which he ran at our group. The two clowns on the hayride probably were the best outfitted with original costumes and hair and makeup.
House of Horrors: 6.83
The Hayride of Despair: 7
Driving along the country roads of Lapeer, the haunt is nestled into the countryside and easy to miss, as we didn’t see any signs by the road or other means of welcoming guests. Parking is abundant; we parked in the middle of the venue and the activities are around the outside. One single ticket booth is set up between the activities near the back of the venue.
The staff was courteous and there to do their job. The most pleasant staff person was the gentleman in the store who served us our yummy donuts and cider.
Their website is slightly outdated, with some pages missing information, specifically the FAQ page (which may have been helpful for us). The website is also somewhat misleading by claiming the corn maze is ‘haunted,’ which may not be the case every night.
PTAD is a bustling environment, with the tractor pulling the hayrides consistently coming through, and people coming and going from the on-site restaurant in the cider mill to the store where you can purchase goodies of cider, donuts, pies, and ice cream, not to mention the haunted house and corn maze. There is no lack of things to do and see. The classic cider mill vibe, combined with being surrounded by corn stalks, brings you into the moment of enjoying the fall season, and the screams from the haunted house carry throughout the night.
The clowns from the hayride interacted with those waiting in line for the haunted house and provided entertainment. A portion of the haunted house was a short walk around the building, wherein a few actor scares occurred. This is directly next to the queue line and blocked by a fence, but every scream that happened was audible. Additionally, the finale of the haunted house was in plain view, and people often came sprinting out of the doorway with two actors screaming after them.
The special effects within the haunted house portion were actually better than we anticipated. A lot of special effects were packed into this haunt. It baffled our reviewing minds how they fit all of them inside the building. Mostly having the old school scares of loud noises and lighting effects, this haunt does have a few tricks up their sleeves as well. A spinning vortex is one notable mention.
The decor within the themed rooms of spiders, clowns, and a bedroom scene were detailed well and created entertaining scenes to walk through. A completely blacked out room successfully disoriented us and left us vulnerable for the upcoming scares.
The hayride had a couple of scenes you pass through, including an electrocution, a hillbilly’s home, clowns, and a deranged man eating a fresh human carcass. But, the hayride was mostly driving past a scene and an actor running at the hayride for a brief moment in time. Again, we feel there were missed opportunities with not using the corn surrounding the hayride more often.
House of Horrors: 7.11
The Hayride of Despair: 3.85
SFX Effective at Scaring, Entertaining (35% of score): 6.2
Could Tell What Theme Was Without Asking (15% of score):
Theme Well Executed, Believable (25% of score):
Location Authenticates Theme (10% of score):
How Scary (15% of score): 5.2
We didn’t notice an overall theme at Past Tense After Dark that the attractions followed when we went through.
Overall, PTAD was moreso entertaining than scary, but the haunted house portion provided us with some startling jumps and some good quality actor scares as well. Seemingly not found very often in the haunts we visit, PTAD had a successful finale that, as we witnessed, caused more than one person to run screaming from the building. That always scores points in our book!
House of Horrors: 6.93
The Hayride of Despair: 3.4
1965 Farnsworth Road, Lapeer, Michigan 48446