Phobia Haunted Trail is sponsored by ECO Center. This 10-year-old organization provides environmental educational opportunities for kids and their families. They also run a terror-ific haunted trail as a fundraiser.
Or should we say fun-raiser?? Oh, hellz yes! A pervasive aura of fun permeates the place. Blasting dance music fills the air. Crazy queue actors rush around, delighting patrons eager for entertainment. And the trail itself is a screaming good time.
A fairly large population of actors on the trail made the eerily quiet, cool-down areas between attacks short and effective. We cringed along, knowing more mayhem waited ahead. The troupe contained an appealingly diverse mix of younger actors and older, bigger folk. They all brought a lot of energy and a healthy dose of interactivity to the proceedings.
In the initial wagon ride to the trailhead, gonzo actors jumped up and down on the trailer bed and one of them did a dead fall off the back end! Kudos on the commitment. The gymnastics continued with several actors, especially the clowns, hanging off of and jumping off of platforms.
We came across a lunatic who fixed us with a stare accompanied by a hideous perma-smile. The priest at the House of the Dark Lord introduced us to former disciples, consisting of robed skeletons, seated in the pews. A growling ghoul tracked us through the toxic swamp. Skitzo the clown waved a chainsaw around with gleeful purpose. The butcher made fun of a team member’s bald head, made the request “gimme an eye, four-eyes” from another member wearing glasses, sniffed us and told us they could make fine leather out of us, and went from giggle-riddled teasing to ferocious screaming about how our flesh would be feasted upon.
How complete, unique, detailed were the costumes, accessories? – (35% of score)
Were the masks, makeup creative, detailed, realistic? – (30% of score)
How appropriate were the costumes for the respective scenes, themes? – (20% of score)
How believable-, detailed-looking were the queue actors? (See Note if N/A) – (15% of score)
The mask to makeup ratio favored makeup, applied with skill and some prosthetics like scars. Costumes, such as school uniforms and the butcher’s outfit, appeared reasonably complete with at least a basic level of detailing.
As for the best dudded-up individuals, the tattooed priest, including an Omen-style 666 inked on the forehead, wore a stylish pinstriped suit with no shirt. Skitzo paired loud circus pants with a black vest and murder gloves. Several clowns sparkled with garish glowing face paint. Outside the trail, we clocked a grotesque skin mask on Babyface and watched the dancing nun kickin’ it in a habit and old lady mask.
How easy was it to locate, park at, navigate the premises? – (25% of score)
Safety (Only dock points for TRULY DANGEROUS hazards!) – (30% of score)
How professional, helpful, friendly were the staff members? – (25% of score)
How easy was it to find pertinent information before arrival? – (20% of score)
Phobia is located in Caledonia, Ohio, about an hour north of Columbus. Free parking is on grass. The parking area is directly in front of the attraction queue, so please turn off your lights as soon as possible.
The entrance leads past concessions and merch to the ticket booth. Everything is laid out well, with nice open spaces, appropriate lighting, and signage.
We experienced nothing notable safety-wise. Exercise the usual amount of care you would at any trail. Phobia has a simple but serviceable webpage that branches off the main ECO Center site. It features online ticket purchasing, or you can go in person to the ticket booth. There’s also a Facebook page.
How well did the pre-haunt areas ("vibe") prepare you for the attraction/s? – (25% of score)
How obvious, creative, believable was the storyline? (See Note if N/A) – (20% of score)
Were you completely, consistently immersed inside the attraction/s? – (40% of score)
How well did the "vibe" flow after, between the attraction/s? – (15% of score)
There’s a party going on right here! A celebration to last throughout the haunt season. If you bring your good times and your laughter and screams too, Phobia’s queue crew will celebrate and party with you. Come on now!
Beats-a-poppin’ music poured out of the speakers. The queue entertainers included that dynamic dervish, the dancing nun, throwing down moves in front of a cheering crowd, while devilishly amusing Skitzo the clown, silently menacing Babyface, and others got up close to line-waiters and patrolled the areas around the attraction exit. They kept the crowd in a great mood. On the way in, props and photo ops in the community areas got us into a haunting type of spirit.
On the trail, engaging actors alongside the often spookily dark woods interspersed with realistic shacks to walk in and out of, as well as a good effects effort, kept our heads in the game. Detractions from the immersion included dance hit bleedthrough from the queue and sightlines of neighboring houses with their lights on. This is not the most remote trail, but overall the immersion level remained respectable throughout.
How effective were the sound effects? – (20% of score)
How realistic were the scene designs, details? – (30% of score)
How effective, realistic were the props, animatronics? – (30% of score)
How well did they use creative, special, sensory effects? – (20% of score)
Phobia brought lots of goodies into its macabre mix. The start of the trail featured a series of shambolic shacks decorated with antiques like a vintage cylindrical washing machine and a radio playing old-timey music. We also heard freaky droning music, chanting in the House of the Dark Lord, echoing wind chimes, and bubbling noises in the spongy-floored, laser-fogged toxic swamp. There was more going on here in an audio sense than at most trails.
We walked through halls of dismembered dolls, a distressingly long tunnel of spiderwebs, a classroom with caged kids, and past wrought iron gates at the cemetery. We very much enjoyed the flow of the trail and its creative, cleverly thought out, and well designed walkthrough.
The lighting alternated between illuminated and dark areas, with proficient use of strobing, colored lights, and lasers. One lighting effect used and controlled by ourselves was the lantern we were given to hold through most of the path. It cast eerie shadows and allowed us to scrutinize set and costuming details that we miss at many trails.
How scary was it? – (35% of score)
How well did they provide scares to everyone in the group? – (15% of score)
How predictable were the scares? – (25% of score)
How well did they provide a wide variety (types) of scares? – (10% of score)
How strong was the ending / finale? – (15% of score)
Phobia with a capital P tickled quite a few lower-case phobias: spiders (arachnophobia), the horrors of school (scholionophobia), chainsaws (kanayaphobia), holes (trypophobia), clowns (coulrophobia), cemeteries (coimetrophobia), and electrocution (electrophobia, in the form of a sparker tool wielded by a skulled grim reaper). Let’s not forget fear of the dark (nyctophobia) – a couple spots where we had to give up our helpful lantern sparked a sense of apprehension.
Actors leveraged great hiding spaces into jarring jump scares. The wagon-jumping psychos triggered the panic of vehicular violence. A monster prop shooting by on a zip line caused us to scream out. Freaky school kids taunted and followed us. A weirdly swaying actormatronic moved by an expertly concealed operator caused unease. A little kid with a bleeding-out head wound looked to be a prop, until the wee zombie silently got up and stealthily stalked us from behind to deliver a big fright.
Phobia managed many yell-out-loud moments with enough quieter instances of creepy anxiety to maintain a more or less constant state of tension. Easier said than done, and something many bigger and more established haunts fail to achieve.
How satisfied with the entertainment provided by the MAIN attraction/s? – (50% of score)
How satisfied with OTHER entertainment INCLUDED with the ticket price? – (25% of score)
How appropriate is/are the ticket price/s? – (25% of score)
It took us 21 minutes to fight through our phobias and follow through to the end. Against the $20 general admission, that made for an MPD (minutes of in-attraction entertainment per dollar spent) of 1.05, just over the benchmark target of 1.0, we like to see.
We enjoyed the trail and the other entertainment enormously. Phobia comes highly recommended for anyone without a fear of getting good value for your haunt dollar …or maybe of dancing nuns.
1757 County Rd 59, Caledonia, Ohio 43314
