Let’s get this out of the way first; this is not your typical haunt. There’s no Halloween festival, and the actors somehow feel completely superfluous. Costumes are deeply mediocre; you’ve likely seen better ones at your local Spirit Halloween. And none of that matters. The House on the Rock is a place that feels nearly mystical, it feels wrong. This is a monument to one man’s obsession, and the deeply creepy, unsettling atmosphere of the building and the exhibits renders any question of presentation moot. This place will disturb you in the dark, and the actors provide just enough chaos to keep you on edge and on your toes forever. Despite lacking any sort of professional cast or costuming, the Darkside Tour made me jump more than any haunt I’ve visited since becoming a Scream Team Captain.
This is a lot of words to say that you need to visit this place at least once in your life if you love spooky things. I don’t know that I’d make a cross-country trip just to see this, but Wisconsin is lovely, and there are lots of other things to see. Add it to your bucket list, and get out here at some point. It’s a unique experience like none other.
This cast is largely made up of House on the Rock employees who thought it would be fun to scare people. I can get behind that kind of attitude, and I fully approve. They are hiding in the dark, ready to jump out and startle you as your attention is drawn to the macabre and bizarre exhibits on display at this museum of the weird. There aren’t very many actors, but that actually seems to work in their favor rather than to be a detriment. As you make your way through the exhibits, you feel isolated among the strange pieces on display and the random bits of haunted house animatronics and decorations, but you’re on edge constantly. An actor could come and startle you out of the dark at any minute. One particular rabbit did just that, catching me from behind so well that I literally jumped. I can’t remember the last time that happened to me in a haunt, possibly not since I was a child.
They give them free rein to do whatever they want to do within the haunt; there is no overriding storyline, so behaviors vary wildly. Some hide and jump out at you. Some like to banter back and forth, telling jokes and encouraging you to keep going. One group of three literally sat still and watched us walk by, leaving us confused and anxious about what they were going to do. Within the House on the Rock, chaos reigns.
How complete, unique, detailed were the costumes, accessories? – (35% of score)
Were the masks, makeup creative, detailed, realistic? – (30% of score)
How appropriate were the costumes for the respective scenes, themes? – (20% of score)
How believable-, detailed-looking were the queue actors? (See Note if N/A) – (15% of score)
For all the effort put into the set dressing and special effects, not to mention the business of running the large museum and keeping all the moving pieces working, next to none was put into costuming. Costumes are what you can buy at Spirit Halloween. I saw masks and costumes that were absolutely store-bought, and there was no makeup done whatsoever. Bare, clean skin abounded in eye and mouth holes and on necks. I could say that costumes were appropriate to the areas they were in, as the areas they were in were so random that literally anything would feel appropriate, but that’s the best I can say. It’s a testament to how creepy everything else was that this didn’t seem to matter in the slightest.
How easy was it to locate, park at, navigate the premises? – (25% of score)
Safety (Only dock points for TRULY DANGEROUS hazards!) – (30% of score)
How professional, helpful, friendly were the staff members? – (25% of score)
How easy was it to find pertinent information before arrival? – (20% of score)
Customer Service is flawless here. Everyone we spoke to was professional and informative. Even the ghouls and creeps in the house would answer questions about where to go if posed to them. After reading through the website, I knew everything I needed to know about the experience I was about to have, and purchasing tickets was completely painless. Team Jackalope has 0 complaints about Customer Service and thus nothing else really to say. They did great.
How well did the pre-haunt areas ("vibe") prepare you for the attraction/s? – (25% of score)
How obvious, creative, believable was the storyline? (See Note if N/A) – (20% of score)
Were you completely, consistently immersed inside the attraction/s? – (40% of score)
How well did the "vibe" flow after, between the attraction/s? – (15% of score)
House on the Rock is CREEPY, in call caps. You feel that just driving up, bizarre stone statues of pots with dragons and monsters on them peek through the trees in your headlights, partly obscured by shadow and the dark. Walking in you see more odd statuary, old relics in the entryway, and some fantastic jack-o-lanterns with scenes inside of them. When my group and I started into the haunt, we were already primed for what we were going to see, excited and just a bit anxious. And then we were in.
Throughout the entire walk, at no point did we ever feel like we were taken out of the moment. The House is omnipresent and always there, with some bizarre construction or oddity around every corner. You feel that way in every footstep, right until you step back into the main lobby. It’s a very special vibe.
How effective were the sound effects? – (20% of score)
How realistic were the scene designs, details? – (30% of score)
How effective, realistic were the props, animatronics? – (30% of score)
How well did they use creative, special, sensory effects? – (20% of score)
House on the Rock was clearly put together by a madman, and the set design reflects that. They didn’t really need to do anything, just let people wander through the halls in the dark, but they did anyway. Strobe lights and animatronics add color and an even creepier substance to the rows after rows of dollhouses, old machinery, gigantic contraptions, and towering merry-go-rounds. Sound effects highlight the otherworldly nature, with children’s laughter alternating with music and the sound of screams. There aren’t many environmental effects, but those that are employed are well used, an air cannon making my brother shriek as he wandered through the dark despite a usually unflappable nature. The scenes in the Darkside Tour are the House on the Rock’s biggest strength, and they use it exceptionally well.
How scary was it? – (35% of score)
How well did they provide scares to everyone in the group? – (15% of score)
How predictable were the scares? – (25% of score)
How well did they provide a wide variety (types) of scares? – (10% of score)
How strong was the ending / finale? – (15% of score)
Is the House on the Rock scary? I’d have to say yes. I went with a group of friends to get the reactions of many people at different levels of haunted house experience. One nearly had a panic attack. Another held her fiance’s hand tightly throughout, keeping herself in the very center of our group. Even the haunt aficionados among us were startled here and there. It was definitely creepy. They did a great job of mixing up the scares as well, hitting people throughout the group, usually the moment we were distracted and let our guard down.
The only weak moment is likely the finale. There isn’t much of a climax; the scariest and most unnerving bits are in the middle. This is largely because it is also a museum in the day, and that’s just the way the walking path seems to go. It certainly wasn’t a letdown for us, but it did let us catch our breath before officially leaving.
How satisfied with the entertainment provided by the MAIN attraction/s? – (50% of score)
How satisfied with OTHER entertainment INCLUDED with the ticket price? – (25% of score)
How appropriate is/are the ticket price/s? – (25% of score)
This is a fantastic value and hugely entertaining. Go here. With a ticket price of under $20 and a nearly 47-minute active time in the haunt, we were left with a Minutes Per Dollar score of 2.32, the highest I’ve ever seen. They could charge twice as much for this haunt, and I’d still think it was a bargain; for what you get here, the price is nearly obscene.
You need to go here; you’ll be well entertained for a fraction of the price of most haunts. Do yourself that favor.
5754 WI-23, Spring Green, Wisconsin 53588