Exit 13 Haunted House Review (2021)

This cast put on their grownup pants before coming out to play. Moving and interacting in threatening and intimidating postures, no doubt they ruled the roost here.

These monsters also tied off their trousers with bossy belts! Whether they were ordering us around like the hired help, pushing us through the next door, mashing us into a hole in the wall, or beckoning us forward, these folks let us know they were large and in charge.

In fact, the voodoo priestess demanded we kneel before her. Although she then nicely helped our old azzes back up, she still kept calling us filthy maggots and cackling over it!

Other memorable characters were the gross doll, malicious murder clowns, and the lanky lad who somehow managed to gymnastically pretzel-pull himself through a seemingly too small window opening.

Exit 13 impressed with potent efforts in the character looks department, with a varied mix of masks, makeups, and face appliques. Some carried it off with a minimalist method, while others were over the top grotesque. Their overall look reflected the rest of the attraction: dirty, dusty, grimy, yucky.

Clothing looked quite complete and appropriately detailed, with special attention paid to the voodoo priestess, who looked great in rather bright lighting and topped off her ensemble with a dapperly worn hat.

The camo guy wielded a ‘Lucille’ bat with authority. We found the living doll hard to look at and had a physically revulsive reaction to her. The murder clowns were also terrifyingly done up. High costuming marks across the board.

If you can remember the haunt name, you can make it to Exit 13, which is conveniently located just off exit 13 of I-475 in Mount Morris, MI (near Flint, a little over an hour northwest of Detroit).

Without the numeric mnemonic, GPS navigation proved easy-peasy and we can’t imagine anyone missing the place with its multi-colored lights, spotlights, banners, props, and blasting music. Free parking was in a standard lot with a good number of attendants directing us.

Though there were spots where we had to crawl for a length or squish through a tummy-tucking constricted corridor, overall we found this haunt to be fairly easy to get through with no problems finding our footing.

Exit 13 owns a nice informative website (exit13hauntedhouse.com), and socials it up on Facebook and Instagram.

The setting around the attraction was of a piece with what we found inside. Which is to say threatening and sinister, and loud in a good way (lots of aggro rock — Rob Zombie, check).

Outside the building, we observed a good amount of scene-setting with giant prop photo ops. Indoors, the queue was laying on heavy amounts of fog and mood lighting.

The exit let out directly into a wonderfully decorated gift shop that looked like a TV horror host’s wet dream. There you can buy snacks and drinks, branded merch, and a lot of unique memorabilia and such.

Exit 13 brought out a highly evocative atmosphere that charged us up for the experience inside.

Exit 13 featured detailed sets built in a layered and organic way that made the whole resemble a freak house that was really lived in by a bunch of maniacs. The design sensibility manifested a grungy, gritty environment throughout that felt like a filthy film enveloping the entire place.

Highlights included the beginning laser swamp area where we negotiated ramps and close walls, several rooms in the front that strung together a haunted mansion type vibe, the icky doll room, and some very funhouse-y elements like mirrors, tight-squeeze corridors, secret doors, moving bookshelves, and such.

Aurally speaking, Exit 13 played an effective soundtrack, including a brief and successful foray into ‘old-timey’ ragtime-like music.

This haunt apparently tears it down and starts over almost from scratch again every year to present something altogether different. Kudos on that approach!

Exit 13 enjoys a rep as scary and extreme. In the opening rules-giving, visitors are told the safe word to escape the inhabitants’ greedy clutches…

A glow stick system enhanced our scares. Wearing the stick around our necks branded us for more intense terror targeting. We endured face caressings, head rubs, chainsaw molestations, pushes and shoves, ‘tickles’ (aka finger jabs), and a solid thwack on the booty from a paddle or something like that.

We further got pushed out of our comfort zone by being made to duck, crawl on all fours, and squeeze through an extremely tight vertical space.

As noted, characters were menacing, intimidating, and gross looking, paving the way for more frightening jump scares and squirmier interactions.

The design aesthetic played a key role in setting up scares, making the setting feel dangerous and unpredictable.

We managed to exit Exit 13 in 16 minutes. At a $30 general admission, the MPD (minutes of in-haunt entertainment per dollar) is 0.53. A fast pass option is also available.

No way around it, that MPD number is on the lower end of the scale, where we usually like to see somewhere around a 1.0.
Normally we’d scoff at such a ratio, but Exit 13 provided a crazy fun time with some unique experiences and great effects, sets, cast, and costuming.

If you don’t mind paying that price point, we’d say it’s worth it. And from the look of the crowd in the queue, many would agree with that statement.

While this was our first visit to the infamous Exit 13, it certainly won’t be the last. Count 13 as your lucky number for off-the-wall hauntjoyment!