Hysterium Haunted Asylum Review (2024)

The patients were absolutely running the asylum here, and we didn’t walk through many dead spots during our visit. Most of those we encountered were some form of mental patient or asylum staff, but we also met clowns, a camouflaged figure in a disorienting dot maze, a gaggle of deranged rednecks harassing us outside, and more.

Once our group was admitted, we were immediately confronted by two rather odd characters who had misplaced the TV remote and were convinced one of us had it. Hey, when you’re stuck in an asylum, you gotta entertain yourself somehow. (We were a little perturbed when they began asking what our favorite “flavor” of crayon was… among other strange questions.) A much rowdier patient had taken over the hospital’s elevator and cackled, “Are you ready to take a trip down to Hell?!” Shortly following our little HELLevator ride, we were accosted by a long-haired maniac asking if we’d stick around for dinner. When they were asked what was being served, they snickered, “Chicken, from the looks of it!” at our startled faces. Some staff members running a decontamination chamber insisted we may be infected and lined us all up against a wall for inspection… in which one unlucky group member wound up on top of a hospital gurney and was given gyroscopic therapy! While attempting to navigate a maze of doors, we were stalked throughout by a crazy brandishing a sharp pair of blades. His behavior ranged from taunting and threatening us with those to trying to “help” us get out… needless to say, we weren’t completely sure we wanted to follow him! Another character seemed to think it was another group member’s birthday and gleefully stated they had “a surprise” waiting for us. A surprise? For us? How nice! (Spoiler alert: it wasn’t. At all.)

Interactivity with this cast was on point: if they overheard a group member say something they could run with, or we spoke directly to them, they were quick with a response and usually a witty one to boot. They were very interactive with their surroundings, too – the actor in the dot maze talking about their “Dippin’ Dots” was cute and clever.

Some encounters left us kind of confused as to how they related to the mental hospital theme. Why were there a bunch of random rednecks running amok outside? What about the character wearing a dinosaur mask? The character roaming the line also didn’t speak or interact much and we almost questioned if they were there to entertain the queue. There was quite a lot of screaming at various points, too, which made it hard to understand what some characters were saying.

The costuming at Hysterium was wildly colorful, leaving us questioning if we were truly delusional. Did we really just see a dragon mask? And wait… was that guy in his birthday suit? Haha, got ya! While it was his birthday, he did have clothes on.

The costumes were diverse, some more creative than others, but not all seemed to match their surroundings. This was the case with the clown-styled makeup in the claustrophobic hallway. We’re not entirely sure where some of these creatures hailed from, but they somehow found their way into the asylum!

Several loons sported crazy additions to their attire, from dual knives, a neck brace, and a glittery “crown” to dog collars, bloody noses, and a colorful beard. We also saw some colored contacts that enhanced the looks and crazy hair!

Plenty of characters were drenched in blood and covered in wounds, but we also noticed some oddly clean skin. And whatever was happening outside, those costumes were indeed… peculiar. We encountered hillbillies, a witch with bloody converse shoes, a birthday boy, and even a soldier. We sometimes couldn’t tell if it was us or the demented atmosphere getting the better of us!

A heavier emphasis on black-and-white makeup designs was noticeable inside. Some costuming highlights included the striking skull and antler mask, the yellow and black clown, the jumpy clown with different layers on, and a priest whose costume was one of the most believable. With makeup that ran down to his blackened fingertips and an upside-down cross on his forehead, he certainly left a lasting impression.

Getting to Hysterium was easy enough, with the GPS taking us straight there and the searchlight high in the sky confirming our arrival. The facility is located within an unassuming business park, and you approach the building from the side. At first, we wondered if we were in the right place until we saw the front of the building with the decorations. Once we heard the booming air cannon and resultant screams, though, we were confident we were definitely in the right place.

The staff at Hysterium were polite and helpful, assisting us with tickets and guiding us to the right lines. While we were able to find ticket information and open dates on the website, we would’ve liked to have seen some more information available online, such as information about location and parking and even some backstory for the haunt itself.

Navigating the attraction was easy. There are some outdoor sections, but as long as you’re not running and being mindful of where you’re walking, you’ll be fine. Just a heads up, there is some intentionally uneven terrain out there!

Upon arriving at this frightful, funny farm, there was no question that we’d found the right place! Multiple signs advertised the haunt’s name, and the gate was guarded by skeletal horses. A few other props were visible here and there outside, along with “Zombie” photo ops meant to resemble a Barbie box. Upbeat music played to get the crowd pumped for the show, and we spotted at least one grunged-up miscreant lurking around the line.

Hysterium’s asylum theme could be picked up on shortly into the house, with some variations along the way. Theme-appropriate scenes included a dim, dingy waiting room, a rickety elevator that dumped our group off in the fungi-tainted sewers, halls with patient cells, a storage room, a demonic church, an outdoor theater left in disarray, and a few rooms where… “therapy” if you could call it that, was being administered. Of course, this was an asylum, so some random craziness was also afoot. How on earth did a mini clown circus wind up in a mental hospital? What was up with the hillbilly clan outside? And the cobweb-covered lair filled with spiders?! Did we even want to know?

While we felt a lot of patrons should be able to tell they were walking through an asylum haunt, some areas were a big deviation from the theme and didn’t make much sense in relation to it (see above). Adding some signage outside explaining the story/theme or replacing these scenes with hospital-appropriate ones would help to enhance immersion. The elevator scene was great and worked by a talented actor, but its mostly plain wooden walls took us out of the experience a little.

The scene design at Hysterium was immersive and interesting. There were scenes that were so thoughtfully rendered that it made us curious to know more about the backstory. The red graffiti seen throughout gave the haunt cohesion and we found ourselves reading it to try and infer more of the backstory and lore of the haunt. Another scene with attention to detail was the dot scene with the actor wearing camouflage to blend in with the dots, and giving them the ability to stalk us through the walls. Other scenes took the opposite approach and completely denied us our sense of sight with a fog so dense that we couldn’t see our own hand in front of our faces.

Some animatronics were worked well into scenes to maximize their effect or supplement the actors in the scene. While some large-scale actormatronics, like a giant clown, reached out to drag us away, others attempted to knock us off our feet (protip: be ready to dodge if you come here!). There are also some tactile elements included that added layers of interest in the scene, such as cotton candy walls to introduce the clown section or the mattresses recessed into the ground that forced us to keep our balance.

When it comes to the sounds, they were rather quiet in some areas. However, we randomly heard whispers throughout, which immersed us more into either the storyline or the fact that maybe we were losing it a bit ourselves!

The “patients” and “staff” – we’ll use that term lightly – of this asylum were so unhinged that they caught us off guard more than once. Whether they were bouncing over our heads, bursting out of a dryer, or standing perfectly still in plain sight before springing to life (we’re looking at you, kitchen maniac!), these folks knew how to get under our skin.

They moved fast, popping up all over the asylum, and always seemed to know exactly where we were, making the scares wonderfully unpredictable. While the front of our group got the brunt of the terror, the middle and back didn’t go unnoticed either.

There were the large creatures that literally grabbed us, moments of disorientation that made us want to flee, and, of course, a chainsaw chase, a giant spider, creepy clowns, and tight spaces – all tugging at our fear strings, building a tune of screams!

However, at the end of our run, we found ourselves trapped in a dizzying vortex – a neat way to transition back to the “real” world, but not the most heart-pounding finale. We’d love to see one more scare added at the end to send guests frantically scrambling for the exit!

Hysterium offers time slot admission, so make sure to plan ahead! You can snag your ticket online for $20 (before fees) or grab one at the door for $25. Remember, specific slots may sell out, so don’t delay. If you’re looking to skip the line altogether, VIP Platinum admission is also available for $40, letting you head straight to the door anytime!

Our trek through madness took us around 24.5 minutes, which comes to a solid 1.23 minutes of entertainment per dollar spent (MPD). That’s not a bad deal for a night of good, crazy fun!

As for the entertainment beyond the main attraction, there wasn’t much going on in the way of extras. We spotted one fiendish figure roaming the line, and a handful of photo ops were scattered about for a little frightful fun while we waited.

Hysterium is always wild, and we look forward to every chance to face off with their crazed patients. Our gyroscopic therapy worked wonders as we spun and stumbled through the hallways. Their patients need treatment… are you ready to be the cure? You’re not too demented to find out… Are you?