Blind Date From Hell at Malice Manor
Date of Visit: 2/14/25 – Happy Valentine’s Day!
Visited By: Team Lone Wolf, Team Zombillies, & Team Brady Pack
February is here, and you know what that means: the holiday of love is coming! And it seems Cupid’s arrows are reaching even the darkest corners of the world… including a certain haunted mansion in Clarksville, Indiana. Indeed, the place is looking quite different lately – at least on the outside. Glistening garlands of red and pink, sparkling lights, hearts, and cutesy inflatables adorn the property; quite a contrast to its usual spooky atmosphere.
But whatever arrows Cupid’s sent this way have also caused a bit of a problem: they’ve knocked out the lights and plunged the house into darkness! Oh no! Just a simple mistake… right? Or is a much more sinister occasion going on within those walls?
Ringing in their seventh season of scares for 2025, Malice Manor isn’t content to wait until spooky season to make people scream. In addition to their regular show, they’re open for three special holiday events the rest of the year: Summer SLAYcation, Christmas Chaos, and February’s offering – Blind Date From Hell! The story goes that Stupid Cupid has flown in to spread a little Valentine’s cheer… but true to his name, he’s also managed to kill many of the lights inside the Manor. Despite this mishap, Lord Rancor and the residents of his home have graciously opened its doors to couples (or anyone else) willing to brave those darkened halls – and face whatever may be waiting for them in the shadows.
Ticket prices for every event at Malice line up with those offered during haunt season. General Admission is $25, or you can upgrade to a speedier Fast Pass for $40. Parking is free, with limited spots available out front and several more just a short walk away.
(BEFORE YOU GO: You should know that Malice Manor is a light contact haunted house. Nothing too crazy will happen in there, but you may get your hair messed with, clothing tugged, limbs touched… you get the idea. There’s also the possibility of getting wet or a little dirty, so be prepared!)
The love was definitely felt once we entered the building. Much of the event’s decor was restricted to exterior areas as with the darker atmosphere inside the house, it would’ve been hard to notice much. We were impressed by what they pulled off in the lobby and queue though! Hearts beat within the chests of towering skeletons and red and pink garlands were strung about the ticket booth. “LOVE” in inflatable pink letters glowed behind a gargoyle, spread rather… provocatively over a bed. LED lights gleamed over the fenced grounds of the estate and cute inflatable dinos offered us their affection from above. Holiday-appropriate music, and a movie projected against the wall, provided entertainment to waiting groups (along with a brief appearance by the infamous Ambrose before they vanished back into the house). Our group had some fun dancing to “Crazy B*tch” by Buckcherry while we were in line. (We had a feeling a lot of crazy b*tches were waiting for us inside that manor.)
Malice Manor is always a work in progress – truly a labor of love for those who run it. We noticed lots of work had been done on the house facade, where a balcony had been added since our last visit… and we were treated to a pleasant surprise in the form of a rare appearance by Lord Rancor himself, watching over the grounds of his home.
One more neat aspect of Blind Date that’s unique to this particular haunt: where most haunts offer a basic glow stick as the light source for their blackout shows, Malice provides one lucky group member with an LED rose – and if you manage to make it out, you get to keep it as a souvenir! Very cool.
Once it was our turn to enter, we quickly found that a darkened home wasn’t enough to stop the Manor’s residents from celebrating the holiday. On the contrary – there were quite a few haunting its halls, all dressed in their Valentine’s best! Along our adventure, we encountered several cloaked figures wearing silver and gold Phantom of the Opera-esque masks. Some characters had more detail in their outfits: the lovely lady who welcomed us into the opening scene had a beautiful red dress, and Cupid’s wife (?) in the kitchen looked every bit the part. Ambrose’s heart pants were cute too.
But geez… for being their special guests for the night, you’d think they’d have treated us better. The first actor we met mentioned we were celebrating the Feast of St. Valentine’s, but we soon found ourselves wondering if WE were going to be feasted on! Many of our interactions with the cast were limited to pop-out scares or stalking; with that said, we got some pretty good frights as we went through. An actor behind a drop panel got our group leader good following a room that had some real *ssholes in it (IYKYK), and Cupid’s lady gave your author quite a scare when I looked back and found she wasn’t done with us yet! We got a good laugh out of the bartender and their comment about the drinks making us “horny” too (along with the fun surprise that followed). And we even got some valuable advice from Ms. Cupid… punctuated by her producing a rather large knife: “The way to a man’s heart isn’t through his stomach. It’s through his chest!” Noted.
Should your group be fortunate enough to find the exit, an awesome gift shop waits for you at the end of the house. This is where you can purchase your souvenir photo, along with all sorts of Malice Manor apparel, pins, wristbands, and other neat merch. Take a moment and browse before you leave, they’ve got somethin’ for everyone.
Love is in the SCARE at Malice Manor for Valentine’s Day – and we were there for it! It wasn’t my first blind date with this scary bunch, but most of our party were experiencing the event for the first time and they seemed to really enjoy it. Miss your opportunity to go on a Blind Date From Hell during Valentine’s weekend? Fear not! Malice Manor has extended their show to one more night- Saturday, February 22– for anyone seeking a romantic experience they won’t forget anytime soon.
