We did meet some intense, comical, and politically incorrect characters outside, at least we think they were in character, who knows, they could be that crazy. The first guy we met in normal clothes had a Wells Twp hat and offered us head’. Before I could process that statement a severed head was flying at my face. It immediately retracted before hitting me, but not before I flinched and gave everyone a good laugh. Another gentleman was decked out in black; black shirt, black pants, black trench coat, black cowboy hat, black eye makeup, and a sweet beard and was standing near the entrance. We asked for a picture and he obliged as I pulled my camera out he pulled his revolver out and held it to my head. This is going to be an interesting time. We had some good interaction with these gents outside and a few laughs. Aunt B was also around. She is quite the looker in her nightgown and extravagant makeup. This crossdressing Aunty is looking for guys to get to first base with. As I am married I had to restrain myself from that pleasure.
Unlike most haunts, WTHH provides a guided tour. This was common way back in the day when haunts were in their infancy and run by the local Jaycees in the ’70s. Just to be clear, that was way before my time. I can’t think of any haunt I have been to that provides this service. Our guide, Beaver, was fairly quiet, off-putting, sarcastic, and offered some quips (albeit dry) along the way. He set the pace of the haunt and had a drill Sargent feel as we moved between scenes. Inside the first area, we were instructed to sit and listen. As we watched the show, two girls silently paced back and forth, getting closer to us, making us feel awkward as we were anticipating what would happen.
WTHH follows a certain formula, for pretty much each room you enter, you will watch a play or act, then the sudden scare happens, and then it’s time to rush to the next scene. As we proceeded between scenes a guy rubbed my head and played with my hair. This was not the only time I was touched this evening. We were rushed past some cookie clowns before entering the next show. We then met a young lady in black holding a headless doll. As the lights flickered on and off she would appear and disappear around the room. Suddenly a second actor appeared when the lights came on screaming in my face. Before I could tell what was going on I was being pushed out of the room. Six macabre monks stood very still, were they real or just dummies? Their chants rang out ‘dark angel dark angel lend me thy light’ repeatedly growing louder and louder as another actress appeared behind them. She was the angel. She looked evil and possessed. When they stopped chanting she started. It appeared she was lip-syncing with the track playing but did a good job. Then boom the lights changed and we had mad monks all over us. This room gave me chills, I found this the most unnerving, personally. Cue Beaver to get us out to the next stop.
The night continued in the same manner, combining actors that put on mini-plays with in-your-face, intense jump scare actors. We encountered some more comical clowns, a girl being tortured (which provided two cool illusions), and a game show host, yes a cheesy 60’s/70’s game show host, with a quick tongue. There was also a demented doctor, pleading patients, a sarcastic wailing wall, jolly old St. Nick, a group of miners played by minors, plenty of chainsaws, and other crazy characters. There were about 30 actors in all. They provided good performances but sometimes a tad overacted.
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