Final Scores – By Category:

Cast (20% of Final Score): 9.5

Costuming (10% of Final Score): 8.88

Customer Service (10% of Final Score): 9.74

Immersion (10% of Final Score): 8.79

Special Effects (15% of Final Score): 8.83

Scare Factor (20% of Final Score): 9.01

Entertainment & Value (15% of Final Score): 9.13

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Final Scores – By Attraction:

Attraction 1: 9.14

‘Oh, what a lovely surprise!’ the lady sitting on the front desk trills when she spots me. Introducing herself as Ms. Octavia Von, she asks if I have a reservation. ‘I do,’ I reply, though I’m a touch distracted by the monster huffing in my face, his own smooth and golden. Too bad she’s unable to find my name in their records… upon hearing that, said monster swiftly hauls me forward and insistently thumps the book for me to sign in. I clumsily attempt to sign my name with a pen whose ink dried up long ago while he watches with a sinister chuckle. All too soon, our interaction is cut short when Tempest, the maid, smirks ‘We’ve got a room ready for ya… have a good stay.’

The monster, known here as Gustav, once again seizes and pushes me into the lobby all by my lonesome. Almost immediately, I’m greeted by a long-haired bellhop with ghastly facial features… I’m not entirely sure they’re still among the living. ‘Just one guest?’ they giggle darkly. While ‘welcoming’ me to their fine establishment, they caution that the price of a stay isn’t paid in money nor gold… instead, it’s your immortal soul.

If you think this was bad, all of it was prefaced by drinking dubious liquid, being strangled, picked up, and paddled more than once because I’m the little bad wolf. All things typical of a ‘stay’ at the scariest hotel in Louisville, Kentucky: the infamous Haunted Hotel.

The Haunted Hotel is celebrating its 34th year of scaring the absolute hell out of the city of Louisville. A new season means plenty of fresh frights for this staple in the local scene, and 2024 has birthed new nightmares in the form of rooms, characters, and an evolved storyline. But rest assured: no matter what changes have been made this year, they’re still serving up the extreme scares they’re notorious for! I checked in – but did I check out?! Read on for more…

NOTE: I experienced this nightmare completely alone and did not enter with a group.

Once it was time to begin my stay, I was promptly greeted by Octavia, the clerk running the front desk (and among the few who were actually nice to me in there). Check-in might’ve gone smoothly – if not for the infamous Gustav breathing down my neck the entire time! Talk about nerve-wracking. Unfortunately, I didn’t fare much better on the elevator… two ladies quickly pinned me between them in the dark, where I only caught glimpses of their nightmarish faces while they thoroughly anointed my face with a viscous green fluid. (We were joined by another character – you could say there was a little “monkeying” around.) Rejecting the butcher’s invitation to join the hotel’s “flesh and blood drive” resulted in an argument, where they beseeched me to “have a heart!” in the hope I’d hand over mine. I’m not much of a prayin’ woman, but Haven in the church had me on my knees and hailing Satan before a super scary demon!

It felt like the further I progressed through the hotel, the worse my situation got. Stumbling into the restrooms, I encountered a deranged character demanding that I “watch them take a sh*t”. I refused. “Do YOU have to take a sh*t?” they jeered. The potty humor didn’t end there; I wound up in another toilet that was nearly as nasty as the restrooms and presided over by Shithead, who insisted that I lick the “poo” off their toilet plunger, then shoved my head in the toilet! Descending to the outdoor maze, I was pursued by numerous monsters and maniacs. Some were persistent in stalking and scaring me multiple times, while others attacked with weapons and hurled taunts as I fled. Towards the end, one of them securely chained my wrists together and hauled me away like a wolf on a leash!

Overall, the haunt’s cast was fearsomely fun to interact with throughout the show and a lot of them were involved in their scenes as well. The dialogue I heard was funny, vulgar, threatening, and sometimes animalistic (screeches, growls, and other odd noises).

It was painfully obvious that both the trapped guests and former hotel staff had seen better days. Some even seemed like they had been corrupted by the darkness flowing within its walls… many had pale or gaunt, almost ghostly faces, dark markings around their eyes and mouths, and one actor appeared to have blood leaking from their eyes! Most of the characters I encountered looked as they should, with care put into designing the freaky faces of those wearing makeup and no masks that were visibly worn out. Clean costume pieces were few and far between; almost all of them had some amount of dirt or distressing added.

There was a good amount of variety in the costumes worn while still adhering to the haunt’s theme. To name some examples, I saw characters wearing suits, hotel uniforms, overalls, jumpsuits, dresses and skirts, torn/dirty street clothes. Nearly as many masks were used in addition to makeup, both silicone and latex. At least three actors were wearing SFX lenses to turn their eyes extra eerie. Raz had a collection of chains hanging off his vest, while The Strangler looked quite classy in his vest, dressy red shirt, and cane. Several actors incorporated props into their looks: a maniac in the maze brandished a pipe, others were slinging chainsaws, Shithead had a poo-coated toilet plunger, and Tempest was wielding a beautifully made- yet painful- paddle.

I was informed the haunt is going in a different direction with how they present themselves and toning down the dirt and grunge a bit to try new looks. No harm in evolving but care must be taken to ensure no actor’s skin is too bare or their hair too clean (as needed of course).

Bathed in ominous red light, the Haunted Hotel was impossible to miss from the street. Parking was plentiful: either free on a nearby street or you could fork over a chunk of change to park in one of the many pay lots surrounding the property. The haunt utilized a sliding scale ticket pricing system where what you paid depended on the night you went; busier nights = higher prices. General Admission started at $25 when I was there, but could go up to $35 on a peak night. Expedited Fast Pass access was available for an additional $15, and high rollers could skip the lines with Front of the Line access for $35.

The Hotel is located in a part of Louisville that can get rough at times. Thankfully, there was a visible security presence and I did not feel unsafe at any time during my visit. I will note there are quite a few uneven spots on the sidewalks surrounding the house and patrons should watch their step. Inside the haunt, taller group members should be mindful of the many props hanging from the ceilings and a few spots where a person could knock their head.

Something you must know about the Haunted Hotel before visiting is that it is an extreme, in-your-face, FULL CONTACT attraction. Not only will you be touched, but you may also encounter grotesque scenes and behavior, get separated from your group, be grabbed, pulled, or picked up, or leave with various substances on your skin and clothing. Know what you’re getting into before you check this place out and don’t wear your favorite outfit.

There was no question at all as to where you were once you arrived at the Hotel. The spooky vibes could be felt as soon as you set foot on the property! Possibly even beforehand… Tempest, the head maid, spotted me before I even crossed the street and was right there waiting. No pressure, right? Hanging out around the ticket booth, I heard creepy music playing, and other members of their roaming cast were wandering about messing with any customers unlucky enough to cross paths with them. I was not quite prepared for what followed when the wickedly beautiful Vixen appeared and offered me a “shot”… let’s just say it wasn’t what I was expecting! While taking some photos, I suddenly got grabbed out of nowhere by The Strangler (who lives up to his name), and I got a chuckle out of watching Raz- who wore a cracked, monstrous face- harass groups while I waited. Such a creepy, yet endearing character.

The moment the front door opened and I was swiftly yoinked inside, it was very obvious that this was no ordinary hotel… and I was about to seriously regret my decision to stay there for the night! Most rooms and scenes followed the theme of the haunt and included checking in at the front desk, waiting in the lobby, exploring a storage room, slipping and sliding through a walk-in freezer, praying to demonic forces in a dark and creepy church, a child’s room full to the brim with dolls, and a guest room in total disarray. No obvious immersion breakers were present anywhere, like exposed speakers, water bottles, or personal items left out by actors. Many areas of the haunt were loaded with props and detail – even the stairs leading to the maze were decorated! I was impressed.

As one would expect, part of my adventure through the Haunted Hotel involved boarding an elevator to reach my room. It seemed to have some trouble moving, but thanks to the actors who decided to join me in there I still had one hell of a ride! The lights flickered on and off to illuminate their spooky faces, an almost comical sight in contrast with the cheery old elevator music playing in the background. Venturing upstairs, I found out the hard way that this place has got a SERIOUS rat problem… and narrowly avoided getting chomped by the carnivorous plants in the greenhouse outside! Some poor possessed soul in the church was scaling the wall and you could say it was a rather rocky service in there. Take care to watch out when exploring the maze too – I almost got smashed by a row of falling barrels! Geez, it felt like this place was trying to kill me at every turn!

Every scene in the house was beautifully lit, awash in appropriate hues of warm and cold colors: greens, blues, rusty oranges and reds. Music and sound effects could be heard nearly everywhere, with the soundtrack ranging from low and unsettling to loud and frantic. Both the music and sound effects were well-suited to each portion of the house. Guests should watch their step in the freezer as it’s a touch slippery, and also watch where they put their hands while exploring the outdoor maze – what you find might just SHOCK you.

The level of detail in most areas was as beautiful as the lighting used and appropriate for an old, ramshackle hotel. Looking at the walls, I noticed water staining, grime, and portions that had peeled or even rotted away. In one portion of the house, a heavy layer of vines and greenery crept across the walls. Props were plentiful and a lot of them were appropriate for their scenes. The messy guest room (c’mon Tempest, do your job) was nearly a maze of suitcases and other items. Doll limbs, several keys, and human body parts (!) dangled from above, and the shelves in the storage room were filled with dusty tools.

Checking in here was something of a violent affair. From the moment I entered, I was no longer in control of my tour – rather, I was immediately handed off to the not-very-tender mercies of those who inhabited this evil place. And let me tell you: they were everywhere! Actors crawled across the floor, popped out of boo doors or grabbed at me from above, jumped out at me from all directions, and even snuck in to strike from behind. An actor sitting in a chair got me good with a “statue” scare early in the haunt! I also got a nice scare from someone cleverly disguised as a prop… but I’m not going to spoil that one.

They were good about using not only a variety of scare tactics but also taking care to avoid only coming at customers from the front or back, which meant everyone in a group would get a piece of the action somewhere. Teamwork was a big thing among the cast, too. If one actor was on me and I was freaking out and trying to escape, any more of the PACK lurking nearby would surely jump in there… turning one scream into a snowball of scares! And not all of the nightmares I was up against were living, either – as referenced above, there were some animatronic frights here and there, and air cannons down in the maze to provide a nice jump.

It did feel like just a smidgen of the intensity was traded off for a bump in interactivity and immersion. Nothing wrong with that of course, and they still ripped plenty of screams and cuss words out of me the whole way through!

From the time I was jerked through the front door to fleeing for my life out of the exit, my scary stay at this hotel of horrors lasted approximately 15 minutes. That puts the Haunted Hotel’s MPD (Minutes Per Dollar) score at 0.60, a fair bit below the full minute per dollar I usually prefer in a haunt. However, those 15 minutes were filled with a healthy amount of laughter, swearing, and screaming… and I was left breathless and sweaty by the time it was over! Sometimes you have to choose quality over quantity, and I felt my experience was absolutely worth the ticket price.

I managed to check out alive, but will you be so lucky? Your room awaits… if you’re feeling brave enough, book your stay at the Haunted Hotel this haunt season.